All the Single Lovers

Originally Written by Zakiya Jackson on February 14th, 2014

Dum dah dum dum dum. (Sing along if you please.)

Dum dah dum dum duuuuummmmmm.

It’s here!!

The day your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other hip social media sites I don’t play with…the day they all throw up with pictures of flowers, chocolates, teddy bears, and other commercialized expressions of LOVE! Or Like. Or Lust. Whateve.

Lol. I use the term “throw up” because, well, V-day is kinda like a pinata full of pink and purple and red pretty things just exploded inside my computer.

But here’s the catch. I don’t mind. I mean I do think that sometimes things get a little out of hand–but hey, why not? It’s why we have over-commercialized holidays in the US — to get out of hand. I for one think going over the top to share love, from time to time, is a good idea.

As long as it’s genuine. Leave that fake ish. Fake love is foolishness and I can’t be a part of it.

Cue Mary J Blige.

Anyways, that said, even though I don’t mind, I can appreciate that Valentine’s Day can be a hard one for singles or people who feel single even though they are in a relationship (ouch. yeah. that happens.).

As a person who is often single on Valentine’s Day, including this one, and who still feels good about love, I’d like to offer a few words of comfort and advice. Use at your own risk.

1. Being booed up doesn’t automatically mean you feel loved. It’s sad, but it’s true. This is a reason not to pity yourself today if you don’t have the man or woman you think you should have.

2. Love someone else. I bought my mom a nice Valentine’s gift this year. She should get it today and I’m soooo excited! Whoo! Other options of people to love: pets, babies, small children, large children, roommates, cousins, co-workers, strange Aunties and Uncles, single people who aren’t expecting to feel the love today. I have to say, it’s quite rewarding to love someone else.

The babies…they get me every time…the feeling is obviously mutual…lol.

3. Have a sense of humor. Poke fun at your friends who post 19 different pictures of the same bouquet of roses. Make jokes with someone from work about the cards their kid made or the cards YOU made as a child. I remember how serious I took those little cards when I was a child. My Lord. Anyways, have some fun — as long as your heart is in the rightish place.

4. Make a sad face. Or shed a tear. Or take a deep sigh. It’s okay to be sad today too. Maybe you are remembering being ecstatically happy a year ago on this day. Maybe you are lamenting never being happy on this day. Or maybe there is something else that tugs at your heart. Funny as it sounds, it’s all good if you need to be sad. Just actually be it. And then, go back to one of the other points above! You can often, not always, do or be all of these things in the same day! It’s called LIFE.

5. Finally, eat something ridiculously good. Preferably while listening to great music or kickin it with friends or reading a great book or doing something you love to do. I tell ya, good food really can do something for your spirit. Mind you, I’m not suggesting you swallow all your feelings in food! I’m just saying, throwin’ down on your fav meal is a fun way to love yourself today!

Essentially, be a single lover. We can do it! Okay, that’s my 2cents and I’m stickin’ to it. In general, I find these to be good things to remember in life, not just on V-day. Now to be fair, I am one of those people who generally finds life to be a gift. I love life. I am also someone who endures a lot of trials and has not had happiness just handed to her. In a way, I’ve earned my joy through living out sorrow. I found out that joy and sorrow are actually attached and not at all polar opposites. So…I guess I’m saying if I can do it, maybe you can too!

From my heart to yours, Love Z!




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Corey Ponder

Corey Ponder

Tech policy professional by day, wannabe superhero by night. Passionate about building communities, spaces, and platforms focused on inclusion and empathy.