Never Betray My Heart #BlackMessiah
First written December 19, 2014 by Zakiya Jackson
There it is.
There it is again. I lost you for a few moments. Days. Months. Years.
132
But there you are my love.
Mirror.
I will never betray my heart.
#BlackMessiah
Context.
Explanation.
It’s been 132 days since Mike Brown was shot and killed by Darrin
Wilson.
It’s kinda weird that I’m still talking about this. Right?
My humanity is wrapped intimately into the violation of Mike Brown’s. I cannot stop.
Yet.
The Imago Dei in me resonates with the Imago Dei in Mike Brown. The same Imago Dei that is in Darrin Wilson.
But it seems like Mr. Wilson’s is more important than Mr. Brown’s and Ms. Jackson’s…mines…more important than mines.
Magic Negros need extra bullets. We are more magic than than the weapons.
We take extra wounds. Defy logic.
Persevere because we are supposed to.
I will never betray my heart.
132 days. I’m going to keep asking why the Imago Dei in me is lessor.
132
Tired.
Trolls.
Friends/Not Friends.
Tears.
Victories/Not Victories. That was a take back. Shoot.
Non- indictments.
Meetings.
Questions. No answers.
Meanness.
Yes. Unkind hearts and spirits.
False kindness.
Fear. Black men. Down.
Black woman. Down.
No immunity. 12yrsold. Dead.
Pregnant. Wounded.
132 days. Protests. Rallies.
Planning.
Strategizing.
Hoping/Not Hoping.
Isolation.
Community.
132.
Inspiration.
19 blocks.
The march, at its largest, was 19 city blocks long! #MillionsMarchNYC pic.twitter.com/f4JO9R32MH — Nagoul (@nagoul1) December 13, 2014
March.
Work.
Church.
Life.
Family.
132. 4.5 minutes. Die-in. Die-again. Dyin’. 4.5 hours.
#oaklandprotests #DieIn #BlackLivesMatter #ICantBreathe hold intersection 4 4 1/2 min #MikeBrown pic.twitter.com/sKQJbli2NO — Alyssa (@alyssa011968) December 19, 2014
Whoa.
I wonder if 132 indicts the soul.
Hands up. I say.
Don’t shoot. You can arrest me even. Just don’t shoot. Let me live.
Because I will never betray my heart. You can hurt me. You can tell me I’ve done things. You can accuse me of not loving God enough. Of being too Rebellious. That’s fine. I will never betray my heart.
You don’t ever have to fear. That my love is not sincere.
I will never betray my heart.
Thank you D’Angelo for helping me recognize the state of my soul.
132.
The song woke up in me.
It came into my heart (and stirred up my soul), planted itself like a familiar guest, let me adjust first to unexpected company and then said this. “Hey boo. It’s okay. It’s okay. You don’t have to calm down. –
Care less. — be ashamed. I see the tension. I see the pressure. You really do just have to be who you are — you will never betray your heart — you will never betray your heart. ”
Track 9. Let it do what it’s supposed to do.
#BlackMessiah
Love song.
It brought me to my love for myself.
D’angelo walked up into the crib of my heart and told me “do you, love you, be free.”
D’Angelo IS BACK! Listen to his new album “Black Messiah” now: http://t.co/wyPVJtoAzD — BuzzFeed (@BuzzFeed) December 15, 2014
Oh, and I’m back.
Whatever yall do.
Shoot/don’t shoot.
Love/don’t love.
Fight/don’t fight.
I will never betray my heart.
I will never betray my heart.
