We Are The Collective
Get to know a few of the amazing people that make up our Old Oak community
The Collective Old Oak is home to an amazing and diverse community. It brings together more than 500 people from around the world, from all walks of life. Together they create a rich network of perspectives and experiences. In our new series We Are The Collective, our members tell us their stories.
We talked with Ligaya, Roberto, Fran and Jack about happiness.
Ligaya — from Nairobi, Kenya
Teacher
Tell me about a time when you made someone else happy.
“In the last year, I’ve seen that my sister has had a really hard time, just with life. Since I’m not working full time, I’ve been able to be there for her. The other day, she phoned me in the afternoon. She was having a hard time and just needed to talk, and I was able to talk her through what she was going through. I know that it really helps her. I don’t know if that made me happy. But I know that it helps her, and that makes me happy.”
What are some things that make you happy?
“In general, it makes me happy to feel like I’ve helped someone, or feel like I’ve done something practical and useful for someone. But recently, I’ve started realising that I think it would be better for me in the long run to find what makes me happy within myself, rather than needing to feel like some external feedback from someone thanking me.”
How do you reconcile living in a city like London, where a lot of people find their happiness externally, with trying to find happiness within yourself?
“Especially here at The Collective — I’ve been here for just over a month — I do think that it’s helping me to get a better balance than when I was living alone. A lot of people live alone in London, but maybe not necessarily by themselves. Even if they’re in a house share, they’re not really sharing a home with people.”
Roberto — from Puglia, Italy
Hospitality manager at The Collective Old Oak
Tell me about a time you did or said something that made someone really happy.
“Probably when I proposed to my husband. Two years ago, we were in Rome. He’s quite a happy person as well, but he’s not comfortable showing his emotions. But on that occasion when I proposed, I could definitely see a different side of him, which I never thought I was going to see — which is good!”
That’s so beautiful! My best friend just got into a new relationship with his boyfriend. Finally finding the happiness that he deserves is really encouraging.
“Relationships are never easy, regardless of age, or your background or your preference. Relations are never easy because it’s about finding that compromise that makes both people happy.
“It seems that that there’s less willingness to compromise, there’s less willingness to understand the other person, there’s less patience to be with someone because we are living our lives at a pace that tells us that if it doesn’t work out after a week or two, just move on because there’s always someone else around the corner.
“We get easily caught into thinking that friendship, or work or anything has to work in a certain way and if it doesn’t follow a certain pattern, it’s not right. Because we don’t allow ourselves the time, and we don’t allow ourselves the flexibility to understand that in life, not everything is black and white.”
Fran — from London, UK
Surveyor and entrepreneur
What was the happiest moment of your life?
“My parents drove my sister and me around France and Spain, and we stayed in this amazing farmhouse, which had this huge dog. He was a Bernese Mountain Dog. He wasn’t allowed to jump in the pool, but he’d come swimming with us. I always single out that memory and think is it the happiest day of my life.”
Do you feel happy right now?
“I just found out that my housemate from University died. It hasn’t sunk in yet. He’s from the North, and he went to an all-boys boarding school. He was obsessed with tea. We would always go out together and have fun; he was like an older brother.”
What was one of the happiest memories that you had with him?
“We came to Brixton and saw DeadMau5 and he was wearing a really colourful costume — well, DeadMau5 was too. He was wearing a morph-suit and people were coming up to him like, ‘Oh, can I have a photo with you?’
“And then we got the coach back, but we got in the wrong coach so we ended up in Cambridge! It was fun. He had his feet up on the seat and this old woman came around and was like, ‘Feet off the seats, feet off the seats!’ And we were like, ‘Oh gosh, okay!’”
Jack– from Bournemouth, England
Film apprentice at the BBC
What makes you feel happiest?
“Family is a big one, and friends who I’m close to. Even if you haven’t seen them in a long time, coming back to them is like, really good. Actually that’s a big thing — if you’re without something for a long time and then you see something again, that’s what makes me happy. ’Cause you’ve gone and done your thing and then you’re back and realise: this is where I belong.”
Tell me about the last thing you did that made you feel really accomplished.
“One of them is the BBC [apprenticeship]. It was the last big one. There were like 63,000 applications and I was like, I’ll try it but I won’t make it. I thought, I must’ve done something right because 37 of us got in. So when I got the call saying, ‘Congratulations, you’re in,’ I was like, ‘Wow.’ And they were like, ‘Is that a good wow?’ And I was like, ‘’Yeah, that’s a good wow!’”
Are your parents a source of great happiness for you?
“Yeah. I’ve had this sort of debate whether that should be the case, or whether I should go on my own and be free. But at the end of the day, they’re supporting me and I’m really lucky to have that. It’s this debate where I feel like should be my own person, but I also want to be able to see them as my rocks. I’m full of gratitude.”
Photos and interviews by Bria Woods.
