Healing & Reconciliation
by Angela Pleasants
On Saturday, April 30, 2022, I sat in the sanctuary of St. Thomas Episcopal Church and watched as many familiar faces gathered for our Service of Healing and Reconciliation. Some of those familiar faces had not gathered at the church for years. Many had come in response to a letter sent to them. Throughout Lent, in addition, members of the congregation issued their own personal invitations to former parishioners known to have been hurt or disappointed or to have suffered through their association with St. Thomas.
This service was the culmination of more than fifteen months of deep, soul-stirring work. The entire parish was led by the Vestry and the Congregational Vitality Committee (CVC) as part of the Discovery/Identity phases of the Priest-in-Charge Process. After taking a deep dive into St. Thomas’s history, we made an effort to better understand who we are as a church and what people, events, and values have shaped us. We acknowledged that our congregation has been marked by unhealthy patterns since the church’s inception. These patterns have included:
· a lack of appropriate boundaries
· abuses of power, evident in inappropriate outbursts of anger,
· acknowledged and alleged sexual misconduct, and
· controversies regarding finances.
These patterns, over the years, contributed to a culture of secrecy, mistrust, poor communication, and conflict. We recognized that many people had been hurt by their association with St. Thomas, whether through an abuse of power or by being unfairly scapegoated as a result of internal conflicts. The Service of Healing and Reconciliation was our opportunity to publicly repent for our actions and the pain our parishioners (present and former) experienced as a result. We also embrace anew our commitment to create a church that is a safe and welcoming space for all people.
The service included a Litany of Forgiveness and Reconciliation and a Confession of Sins, where church leaders, led by the Senior Warden, stepped forward on behalf of parishioners past and present, to acknowledge and confess our sins. Their confession was followed by confessions from Bishop Kym Lucas, on behalf of the Office of the Bishop, past and present, and the Rev. Terri Hobart, on behalf of all St. Thomas clergy, past and present.
Following the confession and absolution, each person was invited to place a small stone that represented transgressions or wounds into a bowl of Holy Water. I watched, deeply moved, as individuals approached the bowl, one by one, many with tears streaming down their faces. After the Bishop prayed for healing and renewal over these symbols of our wounds and transgressions, we ritually embodied our commitment for renewal by exiting the church and symbolically “closing the doors” on the past. Bishop Kym ceremoniously knocked on the door with her crosier. The doors opened to symbolize the new hope and new vision of St. Thomas, free from the chains of the past. We reentered as a people forgiven, redeemed, and renewed, blessing with Holy Water, asking God to guide and support us in becoming a community of healing, transformation, joy, and love.
We ended this moving service with a joyous celebration of Holy Communion. In a powerful sermon, Bishop Kym quoted Bell Hooks: “The practice of love offers no place of safety.…To be loving, we willingly hear each other’s truth and, most important, we affirm the value of truth telling. Lies may make people feel better, but they do not help them to know love.”
Bishop Kym said that because we are human, “the church has not only been a place of nurturing and care but also a place of trauma and pain. For some, church has not been a safe place.” She went on to say, “the leaders of St. Thomas have spoken that truth, and you’ve done so, I would say, because of love. When we name the truth we open ourselves to the power of healing and reconciliation.”
At the reception following the service, parishioners, old and new, along with supporters broke bread together and reflected on the service. Our priest-in-charge, the Rev. Terri Hobart, shared her thoughts:
I knew it was important to ritualize our work, but I had no idea how much this was needed until the service began. I am amazed at the depth of healing that began here today. It is a deep privilege to serve a congregation courageous enough to stand up and acknowledge, “This happened, and it was not OK. We want to do better.” We are a church choosing love, choosing to be renewed, choosing to listen to the Spirit and each other, choosing to become the church God equipped us to be.
One friend of St. Thomas wrote to say in an email: “The invitation to the Service of Healing and Reconciliation from St. Thomas is one of the most extraordinarily brave and thoughtful things I’ve seen in quite a while, reminds me of a Truth and Reconciliation Commission on a local scale. I wish you well.”
Junior Warden Kathi Atkins spoke of a former member who attended the service. “She was in tears,” Kathi recalled, “I hope this service gave her the comfort and closure she needed.” Kathi went on to say she was “deeply moved by the experience, and I hope we can put the past in perspective and look to a new vision for St. Thomas. I truly believe we could not have done this without Terri’s leadership and guidance.”
Senior Warden, Angela McClam said, “I feel blessed to have been part of this service. It was a lot of work getting to this point, but being able to say, ‘I’m sorry’ on behalf of myself, St. Thomas, and the diocese was very healing. I feel a lightness like burdens have been lifted. Terri is always telling us that we are doing the work that needs to be done in the world, and I believe that.”
Being part of this process and participating in this service was nothing less than life changing. Truth-telling is scary and it feels dangerous at times, but ultimately it is freeing and rewarding to honestly face and name the past. We are a better, stronger church because we had the courage to do this.
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ANGELA PLEASANTS is a vestry member of St. Thomas, Denver.
