Sister’s memory inspires Hoyt to make every second count
An 11-year-old girl sat in the front seat of her father’s pickup truck. This was odd for her. Her father never let her sit in the front seat.
Something was off.
“When you guys hear the word ‘cancer,’” her father said, “do you know what that is?”
“When you guys hear the word cancer, do you know what that is?”
Caitlin Hoyt, a second-year student at Elon University, remembers her father’s inquiry all too vividly.
“I remember saying, ‘I don’t know, that’s just a scary thing’,” Hoyt said.
A scary, foreign concept soon materialized into a nightmare when Hoyt found out her younger sister, Campbell Hoyt, was diagnosed with cancer at 3 years old.
The Diagnosis
Hoyt, her sister Caroline Hoyt, and father pulled into the hospital driveway, passing the cardiac section. There, her father told them.
“Cam has cancer.”
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnYC3Kkq_GE&w=560&h=315]
Campbell was battling ependymoma. According to the National Cancer Institute, ependymoma is when cancer cells develop in the brain and spinal cord tissue. It is most common in children. According to American Cancer Society, 200 children per year are diagnosed with ependymoma.
Campbell was one of them.
“I didn’t know what that meant,” Hoyt said. “I knew it wasn’t good, but I didn’t know what exactly was going to happen.”
Hoyt was forced to grow up fast after her sister’s diagnosis. Hoyt’s parents were often gone with Campbell for various doctor appointments. While her friends went to the movies and hung out after school, Hoyt would always stay home and watch her sister, Caroline.
“It helped a lot to have someone who was always there and going through the same thing,” Caroline Hoyt, 17, said. “I would not have gotten through all of that without her.”
Hoyt wanted to be a good role model for Caroline.
“We’re really close,” Caroline Hoyt said. “I’ve just kind of always looked up to her for as long as I remember.”
There was an ever-growing sense of pressure placed on Hoyt. It was becoming so much to handle. Campbell continued to battle ependymoma. She had to look out for Caroline. Despite all of this, Hoyt found an outlet through which she could express herself and escape the hardship.
Dance
This outlet was dance. Hoyt had started dancing when she was 3 years old.
“I’ve always loved dance,” Hoyt said. “My life was getting so hectic and there was just something about dance that I was drawn to.”
Dance was something that Hoyt has been able to share with both of her sisters. At her studio, Gotta Dance, Hoyt and her sisters participated in a summer outreach program that allowed them to perform a dance together.
“I always felt really happy to be able to be a part of that experience for her,” Caroline Hoyt said.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhHQxANTBKc]
Hoyt’s studio helped her throughout her sister’s battle.
“Dance has really given Caitlin another family to lean on,” said Allison Ivan, a third-year at Elon University who danced with Hoyt at Gotta Dance.
Hoyt remembers making so many great friends at her studio.
“I definitely think dance and the friends she had at dance helped her,” said Kendall Rich, a first-year student at Elon University. Hoyt and Rich are from the same hometown and had danced together for most of their childhoods.
Dance offered a sense of momentary escape for Hoyt.
“Dance gave Caitlin a place to escape to, a refuge of sorts, when home life got too chaotic,” Ivan said. “Sometimes you just need to dance it out because your body is able to process grief, pain and emotions better than your brain can.”
Class helped Hoyt forget what was going on in her life outside of the studio.
“I would walk into the lobby [of the studio] and the weight would be lifted off my shoulders,” Hoyt said.
Counting seconds
Hoyt was 16 years old when Campbell began hospice at home. One afternoon, Hoyt was sitting in the living room with her parents when the hospice nurse came in and told them that Campbell did not have much time left.
Hoyt had planned on having friends from dance over that night and the nurse encouraged it, saying that the positive energy in the house would help Campbell. Hoyt, Rich, and a few other friends sat around a fire.
“We were kind of naïve,” Rich said. “We didn’t understand how close it [Cam’s passing] was.”
Rich said the girls just tried to remain lighthearted and keep the evening fun for Caitlin.
“We were trying to keep Caitlin positive,” Rich said.
After her friends left, Hoyt changed into sweats and crawled into bed with Campbell. Caroline and their parents were also there. Even their dog was there. Everyone fell asleep except for Hoyt. She laid there counting the seconds between each of Campbell’s breaths.
“I couldn’t wrap my head around what was happening,” Hoyt said.
Hoyt fell asleep. When she woke, she started to count the seconds again. However, there were no seconds to count.
Campbell Hoyt had passed away.
Tears rolled down Hoyt’s face as she woke the rest of her family.
“It doesn’t matter how much you know or prepare,” Hoyt said. “It will still come as a surprise.”
“It doesn’t matter how much you know or prepare. It will still come as a surprise.”
Hoyt said that her friend, Julia Mustaro, had written a song called “My Angel” with the lyrics, “when I am feeling lonely, I can feel your hand in mine.”
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“When I am feeling lonely, I can feel your hand in mine”
For Hoyt, this song describes life since Campbell’s death. Hoyt has found outlets through which she is able to still express her love for Campbell and find success.
Coping through dance
Amongst the tragedy Hoyt has experienced, dance has remained a constant source of support and happiness. It has provided a connection between her and her sister.
During her first year at Elon, Hoyt had decided not to audition for the BFA Dance Program. She was a member of the Elon Dance Team.
After much debate, Hoyt decided to laterally audition for the Dance Program. For her, no matter the result, it would be a good experience, so why not try?
Hoyt received an email from the program after auditioning. She opened the email and read the words, “Congratulations.” She began to cry from happiness and pride.
“I needed to be doing that [dance], I love it so much,” Hoyt said.
Dance has offered Hoyt another opportunity to carry with her the memory of her sister.
“I think it’s the medium she chooses to honor her sister’s memory and a way for her to still feel that connection,” Ivan said. “I feel closer to Cam when I’m dancing and I think the same is true for Caitlin.”
Hoyt said she feels her sister’s presence when dancing.
During a live performance, Hoyt looked out into the audience and saw a light. She asked her fellow dancers if any of them had seen the light. No one had. Hoyt believes that light was a reminder that Campbell is always with her.
“After Cam died, I feel like I can feel her when I am dancing or doubting myself,” Hoyt said.
Dance was not the only place where Hoyt felt a connection to her sister. After her first-year winter-term at Elon, Hoyt decided to rush.
Tri Delta
Hoyt felt a strong connection to Tri Delta.
Tri Delta’s national philanthropy is childhood cancer and their partner is St. Jude Research Hospital.
Campbell stayed at St. Jude Place while sick.
“Our [Tri Delta] philanthropy, gave her an extra year,” Hoyt said. “I’m speechless. I love it so much.”
“Our [Tri Delta] philanthropy, gave her an extra year,” Hoyt said. “I’m speechless. I love it so much.”
St. Jude’s medical treatment provided Campbell with the medical means to elongate her life, giving both Campbell and her family a little more precious time together.
“Caitlyn does an awesome job standing for our connection to St. Jude,” said Caroline Lau, a junior at Elon University and Tri Delta’s philanthropy chair. “I think having one person who really has been affected by the hospital is really powerful because it puts that physical, tangible, aspect to what we’re advocating for.”
Lau said that Caitlin embodies the idea that Tri Delta “won’t stop until every child is cured.”
Campbell and the rest of Hoyt’s family inspire her dedicated involvement with Tri Delta’s philanthropy.
“She’s put all her energy into good stuff,” Rich said.
Making every second count
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Hoyt carries Campbell’s memory with her.
Originally, Hoyt wanted to pursue a career in physical therapy. She accredits this ambition to her witnessing all the people who helped Campbell when she was sick. After her first year at Elon, Hoyt realized this was not the path she wanted to pursue.
Now, her goal is to work for St. Jude Hospital. Hoyt wants the opportunity to honor her sister’s memory and give back to the organization that helped their family so much.
“If I could go work for St. Jude after graduation that would be ideal,” Hoyt said. “I would love it.”
