The “make your home office feel like a real office” starter pack
At this point, most of us are (hopefully) working from home. For some of you, this may be something new, so I’ve devised a starter pack — a list of tangible things to make the transition from office to home-office nice and smooth.
Your favourite mug
Unless you’re an A* prepper, you probably left the office without your favourite mug. That Christmas present you brought in for you to use, yet, some cunt has always nabbed it first. Recreate this daily low-level rage at home by simply taking your favourite mug from the cupboard and hiding it. Every morning from now on, you can open your cupboard and let out a big, audible sigh.
The dishwasher note
No office is complete without the passive-aggressive dishwasher note. These friendly reminders explain how a dishwasher works and are creative outlets for office managers (job title or self-elected). Now, it’s your chance to let loose on your own. For inspiration:
Free Food
Whilst we’re in the kitchen, let’s talk about those glorious free-food moments. Whether it’s a colleagues’ birthday treats, meeting-room leftovers, or a Deliveroo over-order, when that email goes out, you better be quick.
To recreate that joy (and guarantee you get the food), bake some cookies and then send the standard “Cookies in the kitchen” email. When you receive it, run as fast as you can and eat the whole plate before those vultures show.
The office ambiance
Unless you have some of those noise-cancelling-headphones-that-actually-you-need-to-take-off-every-five-minutes-to-answer-some-inane-question-from-that-colleague-you-hate, you’re probably not used to working in silence. So, to transport your ears back to that open-plan aural overload, I’ve got the perfect thing for you! A playlist, complete with the sounds of air-con, typing and my favourite, obnoxiously loud eating. Enjoy!
Face drawings
Office life isn’t complete without your office buds. On your average day, you’ll probably spend more time with these people than your partner. To close the gap on this social distancing: depict them in sharpie on paper and stick them up around your desk, strategically positioned to get those peering-over-the-shoulder vibes.
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