Equilibrium
Balance. A two syllable word that dominates discussions nowadays. We are aware of the mindfulness movement and being more in tune with our surroundings. Bringing our body, spirit and mind back into balance instead of spending our mental energy flitting from one self-perceived crisis to another. The premise is simple yet the execution is anything but. So what is stopping us? What is it in our lives that creates this perception that we simply don’t have enough time to implement mindfulness? I mean really how difficult is it to sit down and literally focus on breathing for 10–20 minutes every day…
The reason for the difficulty is simple. It is our routine, our inertia and desire for consistency. My routine consists of waking up 2 hours before actually leaving to university. Showering, coffee, news articles and TV series make up these gloriously predictable 120 minutes of my morning existence. The opportunity cost of this decision? 120 minutes of being mindful and meditating sacrificed for an episode of Supergirl. Inertia and consistency though drive my subconscious to not even consider giving up this routine.
But do we need to change? Are we so content with our emotional wellbeing to really need mindfulness? It is more likely that we converge to our routine, embrace consistency and reject healthy change. Consistency though does not equal balance. My consistency and routine have at times driven me to suicidal thoughts.
Yet still we persist with these routines. They can give us comfort in so many different ways. For me the routines persisted because they allowed me to pin my unhappiness on something external, be it other people or the general world. Now the self-discontent lay outside my control and was longer self-generated.
Realising that things lie within my control and that I don’t have to accept someone I don’t like is probably the biggest thing to come from counselling.
“Don’t expect others to be happy with you if you are not happy with yourself.”
This one thing that was said during the final session finally hit home to me that being content with my own skin comes from me, not whether or not a girl wants to kiss or have sex with me.
So how do I introduce new consistency and new balance? What now of the consistency and ‘balance’ that previously created unhappiness? Simply put, it is replaced with new routines consisting of gentle tweaks rather than sudden leaps into the new. Stripping back what lies at the core of this unhappiness means that I want to change certain parts of me.
Changing parts of yourself physically need not mean that you are conforming to social pressure or yearning for an ideal body that does not exist. It can just mean you are being productive. For me it means taking back control for my happiness knowing that this change, both physically and in perspective, can give me greater strength emotionally.
This balance that we strive for means different things for different people. At the core of obtaining it though is finding out what we loathe about ourselves and seeking to modify it. Not through intangible changes like being kinder to oneself but concrete actions that can become part of a routine. Exercising for an hour a day, playing the guitar when you are stressed, whatever really.
So for those that find mindfulness is unobtainable remember the gist of it. Taking back control of your wellbeing and generating your own wellbeing, instead of relying on others to give you that feeling.
Here is to a new routine and a goodbye to Supergirl!
Author: thefarmerandhisgun
Originally published at comeasyouareblog.com.
Getting Young People Talking
