Lads, Let’s Talk

Within a society there are always going to be social conventions/expectations we need to live up to. Obviously some of these conventions are necessary. We want people to listen to what we have to say and not smoke in front of kids.

Sadly some things aren’t expected of men which really should be, or at least men shouldn’t be afraid to talk about certain things. Certain topics the archetypal ‘bloke’, the ‘jack the lad’ just can’t talk about with other ‘blokes’. EVER. It is mental health. It is one’s insecurities. One’s irrational fears.

Why is it that this is the case? I can talk to my female friends about my anxiety, my self-loathing, my autism and how it can cause me to just explode into rage. But why is it when I say to a mate “I am going to yoga to try and calm myself down” all I am greeted with is a sarcastic barrage of comments about how I’m going to extreme lengths to get laid. Admittedly, this instance was quite funny! But it does draw attention to a wider point which is that men of my age can’t see why I would go to such lengths, not to get laid but to actually clear my head.

Clearing your head for a man would never ever be associated with anxiety or self-loathing GOD NO! But we should at least start having that thought process shouldn’t we guys? Let’s start breaking down why there is such a fear about being honest in regards to our mental health, and replace that fear first with acceptance and then empathy.

The whole point of what I’ve written isn’t so that any men/woman can see this and think aww poor guy he suffers from stuff going on in his head. Ideally, I want whoever is reading this to look at it, ignore poor grammar and think.

Does my course mate, flatmate, work colleague, child or even myself need an outlet? Do they know that I can be/I need a sounding board for their/my difficult thoughts?

Ultimately that is what blokes need to know, that there is an outlet for this kind of stuff to deal with and that honestly if you tell your mate this, HE WILL EMPATHISE, because no man is ever going to have always felt perfect or calm. As long as we know there is empathy out there one day we will be able to have a more open and frank discussion about, the struggles every one of us has inside our heads on a daily basis.

P.S.

Thank you for all those that have and continue to be a sounding board for my troubles, much love goes to you for your patience and kindness.

Author: thefarmerandhisgun

Originally published at comeasyouareblog.com