3 Things I’m Reminded Of About Mindfulness Since Coming Home
For many people, it’s not so easy to come back home after graduating. At least this was the case for me. Like thousands of others, I wasn’t able to say goodbye to my friends and wasn’t ready to say goodbye to LA and the two short years that marked the end of my college experience over 300 miles away from my parents. As of now, I no longer have the luxuries of privacy, space, time, or freedom like I did just months ago. Knowing this would once again be the case when I moved back in with my family made me wonder how I would manage family expectations, everyday errands, chores alongside internships (the ones I didn’t lose), and job-searching. Seeing how the pandemic, social distancing, and sudden loss of work have affected millions or billions worldwide, I know I’m still one of the lucky ones. If you are (or were) in a similar situation, perhaps you’ve had to learn or re-learn how to adjust to a rapidly different mindset or lifestyle too. For me, especially since coming back home, I’m reminded of the importance of these 3 lessons for dealing with stressful situations in my own “distanced” work spaces:
1.) Stay present and take deep breaths.
2.) Keep help nearby.
3.) Work with what you can control; worry less about what you can’t.
Though it seems oversimplified to type something out like this, those 3 basic principles have directly helped me to stay mindful and positive as both a student and new graduate in 2020. Furthermore, they will likely stay relevant long after. So, for those reading this brief article, when your schedules are hectic and threaten to overwhelm you, hopefully this first piece of advice comes in handy to you too:
1.) Stay present and take deep breaths.
This can be a difficult habit to build especially if there is constant noise around you. But it is one of the most important and powerful mindfulness exercises I feel we can do. The first phrase, “Stay present” is rather vague. Counselor Michael J. Formica (MS, MA, EdM) suggests to Psychology Today that, “Staying present means staying here” and “Being present starts with the breath.” But I simply take this as, “Don’t get too ahead of yourself”, or “Take a few deep breaths to slow yourself down in the hyped-up moments; to feel calm and thus think more clearly.”
As I’ve done this throughout my time as a student, intern, and recent graduate, I’ve found personally it is much easier to stay grounded and tackle both smaller and larger tasks with this mindset — whatever that task may be. After the first piece of advice, this is often where piece of advice #2 comes to the rescue:
2.) Keep help nearby.
This is the shortest piece of advice. But when needed, having access to a support network makes all the difference in problem-solving — or even just getting out of your own head. Throughout the last few months of school finals, projects, and presentations, in-person interaction with classmates was impossible. But keeping up virtual communications as often as we could was a major relief. Simon N. Young (PhD) in the Journal of Psychology and Neuroscience argues that “Humans are inherently social” and that this is “important for our health and survival.” Whether studying together, solving a problem, or just relating to one another over individual or shared grievances, being able to reach out to a trustworthy or reliable source can definitely feel important for your own mental health.
Often, while keeping in mind advices #1 and #2, it is just as necessary to consider the related, overarching third:
3.) Work with what you can control; worry less about what you can’t.
As projects, responsibilities, and ideas build, it’s only natural to ask questions; isn’t it? But only some of these questions are productive. From personal experience, I’ve sometimes entertained “why” or “what-if” scenarios that are almost impossible to know the answers to: “What could I be doing if there were no pandemic? What if I had the extra several hours per day to concentrate on research and applications instead of chores? What if the job interview I just had could have gone better?” — In this case, it typically does no good to worry. Steven J Seay (PhD) of the Center for Psychological & Behavioral Science uses the following analogy: It is like “trying to fill a colander with water. You can spend time doing it, but it’s never going to get you anywhere.” This is especially true in considering how you can spend your mental and physical energy. If asking such questions isn’t productive, and instead deals with factors completely out of your control, it is most likely necessary to redirect focus on something that is within your power to improve.
While each of these mindfulness techniques has been useful for me on their own, the process of the 3 together continues to be relevant now as the pandemic ravages on. With the unique, complicated, and possibly even more heart-wrenching situations you may be in, your response in the face of unforeseen adversity is crucial. Whether staying present and taking deep breaths to solve problems more calmly, keeping help nearby to solve problems with others, working to solve problems you can control while worrying less about those you can’t — or perhaps something that wasn’t mentioned here — I hope these reminders will help you deal with stress more easily. Furthermore, I encourage you to put your mental, physical, and spiritual health first, whenever possible.
