I’m Jeb B***, And I’m Running For President

By: Jeb B***

This great country of ours is in need of serious help. The national debt has skyrocketed after years and years of running major deficits. Businesses are being hampered by an overwhelming number of new regulations, not to mention the major burden that health care reform has imposed on our nation’s best companies. On the home front, middle class Americans are struggling and getting no help from increasing taxes. And abroad, we as a nation are failing at keeping our borders secure and world safe. I’m here to change all that. My name is Jeb B***, and I am running for President of the United States of America.

The B*** family is a very long and very proud line of true Americans. Starting in the early 1800’s my great-great-great grandfather Reverend James Smith B*** was born in Rochester, NY and became an attorney and well respected religious writer. From there, the B*** legacy only grew, and now the B*** family has produced two Senators, a Supreme Court Justice, two Governors, and two Presidents. I could not be more proud of my B*** heritage.

Throughout my career, I’ve strived to live up to the B*** name. Growing up in Texas along with my many siblings, the B*** family knows what it’s like to live the American lifestyle. I graduated from the University of Texas at Austin and eventually ran and won for Governor of Florida, where I was steward of the state from 1999–2007. The B*** Administration at Florida was a successful one with a focus on education and fiscal responsibility, two things the B*** family holds dear. Since then, I’ve been making sure that a B*** has a voice in the political conversation.

I believe that I have the credentials to be the next President. The United States needs a B*** to turn things around, and I’m just the B*** to do it. So, when you hit the ballot in 2016, remember the B*** heritage and the B*** legacy.

Vote B*** 2016.

Originally posted on www.lonelypetunia.com