Imagined Mutterings #1
With John Lewis, Carl Levin, Nancy Pelosi, Mitch McConnell, and Harry Reid
Yesterday, Congressional leaders gathered in the Capitol Rotunda to posthumously award the Congressional Gold Medal to Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. and Coretta Scott King. At the end of the ceremony, they joined hands and voices for a rendition of “We Shall Overcome.”
This, I assume, is what they said under their breath.
Rep. Lewis: Now listen, everybody, I need y’all to understand that what we’re here for is more than just politics. It means something, this song, it means—
Rep. Pelosi: WE SHALL OVERCOOOOOOME.
Rep. Lewis: Nancy, look at your damn lapel. Do you see a microphone? Now hush up, move your lips, and let me finish.
Sen. McConnell: That’s what I used to say to my lady friends back in Kentucky.
Sen. Reid: I cannot believe that I have to touch you right now.
Sen. McConnell: Hold on tight, Harry, you’re my choir boy buddy today.
Rep. Lewis: Actually, this song has its origins in the Black church, and from there it was adapted into—
Rep. Pelosi: WE’LL WALK HAND IN HAAAAAAND.
Sen. McConnell: That’s right you two, I put on extra lotion just for this occasion.
Sen. Reid: Hhhrrrnng.
Sen. Levin: Um, John, excuse me?
Rep. Lewis: Yes, Carl?
Sen. Levin: I’m super into civil rights and all—I mean, really, great job with that—but my left arm, well, it just doesn’t work the way it used to.
Sen. Reid: Dammit Levin, always with the left arm.
Sen. Levin: I also don’t know the words.
Rep. Pelosi: WE SHALL ALL BE FREEEEEEE.
Sen. Reid: Mhhhhhhhrrrrr.
Sen. Lewis: So anyway, it’s really quite symbolic that we’re all up here singing this song. It would mean a lot to Dr. King, I know that much. And I know that if he were here today, he would remind us how much left there still is to overcome, and—
Sen. McConnell: What the hell are you talking about, John? Racism is as good as dead. Speaking of which, let me tell you about one part of me that is not racist and very much alive.
Rep. Lewis: Oh, fuck this. Never mind.
