Comedy, Humor, & Satire

Essays, lists, rants, bits, gags, toots. 


Eat a bagel, become a Jew!

A secret conspiracy


Yep. I spilled the bagels. Now you know. The bagel is Jewry’s conversion hack. If you’ve ever eaten a bagel, you’re now


The Tetherball Champion

In Which A Boy Discovers His True Nature Several Millimeters Beneath The Skin


Your Kid is a Little Asshole

And guess what: it’s all your fault


One of my best friends from college is a very successful, accomplished woman. Her name is Sarah…


Notable Books 2013: Dinosaur Porn vs. Dave Eggers’s ‘The Circle’

Which is more plausible? 


Dave Eggers’ social media satire The Circle was selected as one of…


Two Airlines Make the Skies a Little Friendlier


In a rare bout of coordinated lucidity from an industry known for making even its most loyal customers question the existence of God or…


How to Not Write

The Procrastinator’s Guide to Hey, Good Will Hunting’s on


I will write today, I say to myself.


Victorian Classified Ads

Diligent Ratcatcher Wanted


Earn Big Pence as an Apple Scrumper!


Letters to the Food I Eat

Or, Missed Confections 


Or, Missed Confections

In an attempt to revive the lost art of correspondence I submit the…


In the Battle of Bikes and Cars, We All Lose

People will be people, regardless of vehicle


Riding your bike to work is great thing to do—if you think driving a…


Will Walk for Food. 

Not like for a charity fundraiser or anything; this is just the one where I complain about my job. 


Secret Santa 2008

Skin Mags, Tanqueray, and a Tickle Me Elmo


Five years ago I was a bartender at one of Vancouver’s nicest Japanese restaurants. ‘Head bartender…


It Gets Vedder

Or, being an unapolgetic Pearl Jam fan  


I still like Pearl Jam even though I’m pretty sure that even the members of Pearl Jam don’t like Pearl Jam…


Goodbye Blockbuster Video: Big Trouble In Little Vagina

Or, The Death Of The American Video Clerk: The Modern Day John Henry Versus The Redbox Rental Steam Engine


Things I Learned From Childhood Movies

Bees kill and mosquitos make dinosaurs


The Mighty Ducks taught me that if you get caught drinking and driving, you will…


IFTTT for the future

7 recipes we desperately need in 2014


Many people in the tech community rely on a canny service called IFTTT. Short for If This, Then That, the…

Comedy, Humor, & Satire
Comedy, Humor, & Satire

Essays, lists, rants, bits, gags, toots. 

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