“Thor” is my Name; Sexy is my Game

It really doesn’t matter what movie this was from, right? Doesn’t he always look like this? From Amazon.

(For those of you unaware, I’ve been challenged to watch and write my thoughts on the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe leading up to The Avengers: Infinity War because I’ve been told you can’t enjoy one without watching the others. I’m up to the third in the series; here’s Iron Man and Iron Man II.)

SPOILER ALERT

Dear V,

First and foremost, I really want to know why Marvel decided that it was okay to use Norse mythology and take Thor and the rest to make comic book heroes out of them, regardless of when it was done. After all, they’d never do that to Christianity or Islam (being that those who follow Islam would probably be pretty ticked off — see South Park, season 14, episode 6).

Other than that, let’s talk about the movie.

And let’s go ahead and talk about the elephant in the room — Chris Helmsworth is nowhere near as good looking as Tom Hiddleston. Period. End of story. No real discussion is needed here.

Again, which Thor movie doesn’t matter, but my God, Tom’s much better looking than Chris. From, yeah, um, I’m not linking to that page.

So Asgard brought peace to the universe (the nine realms) by defeating the frost giants. I have to admit I got cold chills when I heard the name “Asgard.” I’m still used to thinking little grey men when I hear it (Stargate SG-1 reference).

In this universe, however, we are told that Loki and Thor are brothers (when, in fact, mythologically speaking, is not correct, Loki would be Thor’s uncle, I think, off the top of my head — damnit, I want more of the real story) and we have entered upon the day that Odin plans to make Thor king of Asgard. With two boys, I figured that this was because Thor was the firstborn son, but we’ll see later.

Side note: Anthony Hopkins as Odin? Eh, interesting choice but okay.

So the frost giants find a way into Asgard, past Heimdall, the watcher of Asgard, and, to put it gently, ruin Thor’s day. I don’t quite remember what the blue-lit rectangle was that Odin took from them — a power source of some kind, I think — and that’s what they‘re after. The frost giants are defeated and, well, we learn Thor has anger management issues. His way of handling thing would be to go kill them all immediately, but Odin says no and he skulks off and, kinda, whines to his friends and Loki that he can’t go kill the giants (essentially genocide was what Thor wanted).

Now, we are a good 20–25 minutes into this ~2 hour movie already.

LOKI HASN’T SPOKEN.

He’s started to say things, but everyone shuts him down as soon as he starts to speak. I know that Loki is the trickster god in the myths and I expect him to be so in the Marvel movies as well, but it’s interesting to me that he hasn’t spoken or been shut down when he’s triedto speak.

So Thor’s whining about not being able to kill the Frost Giants and Loki sits next to him and encourages him to act upon his feelings. It’s subtle — he uses Thor’s heightened emotional state against him. And once the idea was planted in Thor’s head, you can see a very slight look of achievement on Loki’s face. Is that the right word? I’m not sure.

So, we all go to Yodenheim to fight the Frost Giants. Heimdall guards the bridge which Thor and his friends call the “bifrost” (apologies to any Swede reading for not knowing how to put the two dots over the ‘o’ on an American English Keyboard layout).

Note: Even Heimdall told Loki not to talk.

So, when Thor is facing the Frost Giants, he says, “How did you people get into Asgard?”

The only thing I can think of is: Thor, really? After all this time, why are you actually not blaming Loki for it? Surely, in all your history growing up with him, there must be something in the past that would make you think Loki helped?

In fact, all the way through the movie, Thor believes everything Loki says to him. WHY? Everyone else knows who Loki is — his name is common knowledge… erm, well, I thought it was and my husband told me most people would probably not know who he is except through the movies. (sighs)

Not really surprisingly, Loki is the one who, once again, pushes Thor to stop the fighting and leave, but the king of the Frost Giants mocks him one last time and tells us what change Thor has to go through by the end of the movie with: “Nothing but a boy trying to prove himself a man.” Yeah, you can imagine what happened next.

I love that Thor’s hammer acts like a boomerang. Loki’s illusion to trick on of the Frost Giants is awesome and is probably also foreshadowing of something to come later.

However I absolutely understand Deadpool’s “superhero landing comment.” Seriously, can’t these guys find another way to land when jumping?

That being said, Odin pulls them all back to the Bifrost and tell Thor that he’s not ready to be king of Asgard, banishes him to Earth without his powers, and sends Mjolnir (Thor’s hammer) to Earth as well with the stipulation that only someone that truly deserves to be king will be able to pick up the hammer and have Thor’s power.

Why he’s being cast to Earth (Midgard) in particular, they never go into, but as we learn later Odin always has a plan for what he does.

On Earth, Thor meets the love interest (Natalie Portman), Jane, and naturally they hit it off because he’s well-built. Niiiice bod there, Chris. (I still prefer Tom.) Thor’s hit by Jane’s car, well, twice. And then we cut to a party where a bunch of drunks stand around and try to pick up Mjolnir, failing miserably. Stan Lee’s in this section of the movie as one of the guys who’s driving a truck to try to pull the hammer out of the ground.

When we cut to Asgard next, we find out that Loki isn’t truly Odin’s son. He’s the son of the king of the frost giants and Odin had hoped to broker peace between the two with him at some point.

This is where we first hear that Loki loves Thor but is jealous of him. This comes up again and I’ll come back to what I think it means at that time.

Loki asks Odin if he is nothing more than a “stolen relic,” shouting at him, and Odin collapses in the hallway. By Loki’s actions, this was not what he was attempting to do and it came as a shock to him as well as everyone else.

On Earth, we come back to the cliche “character out of his place” act from Thor and Jane’s friend Eric warns her away from him. Through the description Thor gave Jane, she believes it’s an Einstein-Rosen bridge (astrophysics for the win!) that he’s talking about having traveled through. Basically, a wormhole. So, without anyone to help him, Thor runs off and finds his hammer. After Thor leaves, we find out that S.H.I.E.L.D. has taken all of Jane’s research equipment. Not really all that surprising.

On Asgard, Loki has taken control and proclaimed himself king. Odin’s not dead — he looks to be in some type of stasis that either they explain and I missed or they just glossed over it. Either-or really.

And once Loki takes over, there’s the “silver tongue” I’ve been waiting for.

When Thor finds his hammer surrounded by S.H.I.E.L.D equipment, he sneaks in, thinking he’s going to retrieve it quickly. Nope. The hammer doesn’t budge for him either and he doesn’t understand why. I don’t think he actually ever really understands why through the rest of the movie. We know it’s the All-father’s plan that Thor has to be worthy of the hammer and his powers before he can pick it up.

However, at this point, we do get to see Hawkeye which I was happy about, being that he’s one of the only Avengers whose name I remember.

A few thing bugged me during Thor’s interview with Coulson. Are his eyes really that blue? What was the need to turn that saturation up?

Loki appears through the guise of another person on Earth — which actually clues us in to a power of Loki’s we weren’t aware of before. He tells Thor that Odin is dead because of Thor (of course) and that he will “take the burden of the throne.” According to Loki, the truce between Asgard and the frost giants depends on Thor’s perpetual exile.

Hiddleston plays this character WELL. He’s SLICK. When he turns around to leave, there’s only a slight hint of a smile on his face — or is it the glimmer in his eye? I don’t know but you can tell Loki’s pleased with the way things went. However, on his way out, he tries the hammer himself and is unable to lift it as well. Not that this should be surprising.

Once again — Thor believes him. In the movie, I wonder if it’s because Thor wants to see the good in everyone, but he didn’t try that with the frost giants. I don’t know — all I know is that in the Norse mythology I’ve read, Thor would have been the first to blame Loki on something that went wrong. I don’t quite get the entire change of character here, especially since — I mentioned this earlier — he grew up beside Loki and would know better than anyone else what he’s like.

So, Thor’s released to Eric (?), who is one of Jane’s partners, through some careful maneuvering. Eric takes Thor to a bar where he warns Thor away from Jane and Thor ends up drinking him under the table, unsurprisingly.

Loki goes to Yodenheim, makes a deal with the king of the frost giants to come in and murder Odin where he lays, but more important really, is that he tells Heimdall not to open the Bifrost for anything.

I liked the Bifrost being a rainbow bridge. There’s a story about when pets die that they go to the rainbow bridge until they see their master coming and then they cross that bridge together. I wonder if there’s any corellation in backgrounds, even accidentally.

So Thor tells Jane about the bifrost and that this bridge is between each of the nine kingdoms of Yddrisil, the world tree — the CGI they used here was kinda nice.

Back to Asgard, Thor’s friends wanted to go find them and Heimdall left so they could open the bifrost. Loki gets pissed and uses his frost giant side to freeze Heimdall in place. He then sends the Destroyer (cool robot thing from the beginning) to Earth to kill Thor once and for all.

The big change once Thor’s friends arrive is that Thor learns the truth about Odin and Loki. Then the Destroyer shows up and we have a cool fight on our hands. The Destroyer is a neat robot.

Thor tries to send everyone away, realizing that it’s him the Destroyer wants to kill, and everyone, well, doesn’t go and joins the fight.

So, from the way I see it, in order for Thor to get the hammer, his kingship and his powers back, he must be kinglike, correct? At least, according to Odin’s beilief of what kingship would look like. Here, we see that he’s willing to sacrifice his life for innocent people.

And Thor dies.

I think what matters here is that Thor doesn’t know what he needs to do to get the hammer back. Sure, he’s sacrificing his life for other people, but he’s not doing it to gain back his powers — or his kingship — or his hammer. He’s doing it because he feels it’s the right thing to do.

I have an odd relationship with selfishness because I believe selfishness is a natural human trait. There’s nothing wrong with being selfish — it’s how that selfishness affects other people that can the problem. Here, Thor is saving his friends by sacrificing himself — saving his friends is a selfish act on Thor’s part. He’s invested in that. That is what he wants done. And it doesn’t really matter how he does it that counts — only that he does it. He deems their lives to be more important than his, so if sacrificing his life will save them, he will do it. We call it an “altruistic” act, but if it were truly altrustic, wouldn’t that mean Thor would have to not care about the lives he was going to save? Just something to think about and perhaps discuss at a later time.

When Thor dies to save his friends, the hammer flies to him, he comes back to life and he beats Loki’s robot Destoryer easily.

Note: Er, Chris Helmsworth doesn’t really look like he knows how to kiss that well either. I’d rather kiss Robert Downey, Jr., period. (Haven’t see Hiddleston kiss yet, but I’ll be waiting.)

But once again, we see how slick Loki is. He’s invited the frost giant king to come kill Odin and when he realizes at the last minute that Thor is back, he kills the frost giant king. I found it interesting that he called himself “Loki, son of Odin” when he did.

But it’s when Thor is back in Asgard and facing Loki that I think he becomes Odin’s true successor. When Loki aims the bifrost at Yodenheim to destroy the world of the frost giants, Thor is in the position to save the “bad guys.”

In order to save them from Loki’s genocidal desire, Thor takes his hammer and works to separate Asgard from the bifrost. In this case, he is most definitely working against what he would want more. This is a much better example to me of why Thor, not Loki, should succeed Odin as King. He is working toward the good of… er… I was going to say “humankind,” but now I’m not so sure what they would be called.

During the fight between Thor and Loki, Loki says something to the effect of he “never wanted the throne. I only ever wanted to be your equal.” Which again makes me question whether that statement is actually true or not. At this point, I believe him. Perhaps it changes. We’ll see.

Loki lets go when the All-father saves him and Thor. Not sure what he thought would happen.

And of course, at the end, Eric, Jane’s friend, meets up with Nick Fury (who should say ‘motherfucker’ at least once per film — it’s Samuel L. Jackson, after all). And we find out that Loki is inhabiting Eric’s body which of course, leads to questions like: was he there the whole time? Did Loki try to influence what would happen to Thor?

I don’t know, but it wouldn’t surprise me.

I’m TIRED of Thor now. Tomorrow I watch Captain America: The First Avenger.

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