Parents to Peers

The sun began to burn through the morning clouds creating a few humidity-induced curls to my tightly pulled-back ponytail. It was late June in Wildwood, central Florida. I had been away from my family for a month now and was feeling free, independent and really was enjoying adulting on my own. I finished my coffee, packed my lunch and began the drive to work that morning as I did every day but, today was different. I would be headed to the monthly held “Villages Expo” which took place in a beautiful building and helped new residents of The Villages find fun activities in the area.

I had become accustomed to using my phone GPS to get around. I hadn’t been to the Expo yet, so I looked up the route ahead of time to get an idea of how much busy traffic there would be. It was an easy drive, only 9 minutes away with little traffic until I got to the Expo building.

I pulled up to the final light and saw the building on my left. I glanced down at my phone GPS to verify I was at the right place as the car in front of me, also turning left, zipped through just as the yellow arrow flashed. Noticing this from my peripherals I hit the gas as well, only I did not make it through.

There was a loud crash and I was scrambling to take control of the wheel as the rear end of the car swerved towards another lane of traffic. Instead of pounding my heart felt as though it had completely stopped. I was able to gain just enough control to put myself right into a flower bed in the median of traffic.

I froze. Hands and arms stiff on the wheel. I was all alone.

The previous feelings of freedom and independence welled inside of me as I sat there in a flower bed in central Florida. What do I do? I immediately felt “put in my place” as a child again. I would have done anything in that moment to not be thousands of miles away from my parents, but still there I was.

The police were already on their way. They helped pull my car out of the flower bed and explained that the same accident happens at this light all the time. They were very sincere and helpful. I appreciated their kindness to me, which I assume came from my age, the realization of where I was from and the look of fear across my face along with my frantic questions for guidance.

My car was deemed “totaled” but drivable so I did the only thing I could think to do in that moment, go to the Expo. I went straight to the bathroom and cleaned up the mascara tears streaked down my face and tried to forget what had just happened. Of course, I had to explain to my supervisors why I had shown up almost half an hour late.

I have never received so much praise and encouragement. Many of them had passed the accident not realizing it was even me. They all offered their own advice and suggestions. The guidance that I needed in that moment. I felt childish but the way they treated me was just the opposite.

That night I realized that we all need guidance in our lives at some point or another. The difference is that as you grow into adulthood the guidance we need often shifts from our parents to peers and it’s not something to be ashamed of, no matter how alone you feel, we are all here for each other.