Let me preface this post with, yes, I am one of those horrible country music fans that everyone likes to loathe so much. It’s media I hate to love. It’s corny, it’s repetitive and most of the time, I’ll admit it’s pretty stereotypical. While some of the stuff I shamefully let slip past my unattentive ears, every once in awhile a song comes on that stops me dead in my tracks and I’m like...really? One of those songs is “I’ll Name the Dogs” by Blake Shelton — which already didn’t have much potential for me. Not only because I’m not a Blake Shelton fan at all, but artist preferences aside, the song is hardly what anyone would call creative. Not only are the lyrics less than intellectually stimulating, they also very prominently cater to and promote stereotypes surrounding gender roles.
In the song, Blake — as if someone died and made him God — has the nerve to tell his special lady precisely what she can do/be, while he proceeds to assure her that he’ll pick up her slack and provide whatever masculine trait or skill she’s missing. How kind of him to “complete” her in a way that only a man truly could. The lyrics not only place limiting boundaries on what a woman can or should seemingly do, however, but they also degrade them by picking some of the most obnoxious roles or acts that women supposedly perform on a day to day basis. Not only are the tasks ridiculous and elementary, but they also come off as inferior to those Shelton says he’ll take care. So, “step aside, ladies. You just sit there and look pretty, doing womanly things, while us men take care of the real, ‘manly’ stuff.”
I’ve taken the rest of this post to not just bash Blake Shelton but to really break down the the song’s lyrics; AND in the spirit of misogyny, have taken the liberty of man-splaining to all female listeners, just exactly what Blake was trying to say.
The sexist references and gender stereotypes can be recognized pretty explicitly throughout the entire song, but the bridge and chorus — which pretty much makes up the whole song — just scream gender conformity. Shelton sings, “You find the spot and I’ll find the money. You be the pretty and I’ll be the funny. You plant the flowers, I’ll plant the kisses. Baby, let’s get right down to business. I’ll hang the pictures, you hang the stars. You pick the paint, I’ll pick a guitar. Sing you a song out there with the crickets and the frogs. You name the babies, I’ll name the dogs.” So in other words, you be the housewife and I’ll be the breadwinner, you provide the visual pleasure and I’ll supply the humor. You be domestic and I’ll show you physical affection. You make yet another homemaker decision and I’ll just sing a song about how picture perfect our life is. You be a mother to our children and I’ll just hang out with the dog.” While all of this is pretty ridiculous, I think the part I hate the most is the title line. Like, no thanks, Blake. I’ll name the babies AND the dog, but cute of you to think otherwise. Shelton goes on to sing, “You can park your car in the driveway, I’ll park my truck in the grass. I’ll put a little swing on the front porch, if you put a little tea in my glass.” Which really means, “You take your pretty little prius and keep it nice and clean, I’ll take my macho compensation machine and rough it like good ‘ole boys do. I’ll do some beefy construction work, if you play a 50s housewife”….or something like that.
So these may be a little bit of a stretch, but it’s hard to deny that Shelton’s statements surrounding women and their roles within a relationship are a little bit dated, a little bit generic and more than a little bit sexists. While I’m sure he had good intentions, I feel like it’s a little bit conceited to assume that he has the power to place boundaries around his significant other. To him, it may sound cute, but to me it just sounds misogynistic. This all rears the question then, should we as women support musicians and artists who sing songs like this? Probably not, but will we? Absolutely. I think in the case of modern day media consumption one of two things happens; 1) we naively and mindlessly consume media without thinking about the implications it holds; and/or perhaps more frequently 2) this framework of enlightened sexism overpowers the latent narratives hidden beneath the surface of the media, which has convinced women that gender norms are normal and acceptable to Blake Shelton, and the rest of the world too.
P.S. the video is just about as equally as excruciating as the song lyrics themselves, but I’ve attached it for your viewing pleasure…or displeasure. You can decide, I suppose.
