James Monroe

Gather your ingredients, folks! It’s time for a grilled cheese in honor of President No. 5, Mr. James No-Middle-Name Monroe.

For this sandwich, we decided to make vegetarian po’ boys (with apologies to anyone who actually makes real po’ boys) in honor of Monroe’s involvement in arranging the Louisiana Purchase.

Monroe’s presidency corresponded with the Era of Good Feelings, so we found an appropriate soundtrack:

(Incidentally, Monroe also rode from Paris to Madrid on a mule to acquire Flo Rida Florida from the Spanish. 15 years later, his efforts paid off. In case you’re wondering, some people are still wondering how much the Sunshine State is worth.)

And what better to usher in an era of good feelings for us than to have not just one or two but FIVE cheeses for this sandwich in honor of our 5th president?

Introducing the cheeses:

The “Tapas Sampler” from Trader Joe’s partly in honor of Monroe’s negotiations with Spain, but mostly because it’s cheaper to get Manchego this way, and MANchego is in honor of Monroe’s catchy campaign song, which boasted, “Monroe is the man!”

Some French Brie left over from the sandwich honoring Monroe’s mentor, Thomas Jefferson. Like TJ, Monroe had a taste for French cuisine.

Some prov-ALONE (as in “Leave the Americas prov-ALONE, Europe!”).

Now, assemble the cheesy forces on the rolls:

and grill them in the oven until they are melty:

Meanwhile, prepare some leeks (because leeks feature in French cooking… thank heavens our founding fathers liked France so much!). Do this by Googling “how to prepare leeks.”

Cut them.

Then rinse them (because they have lots of grit in between the layers… who knew? Tons of people, apparently).

Then fry them in a little olive oil.

Add the leeks and some Tabasco sauce (made in Louisiana!) to the subs.

You are now ready to set the stage for the cheesiest enactment of the Monroe Doctrine to date. One po’ boy is Europe, one is the United States, ironically guarded by the British navy (masquerading as Spanish cheese, probably a reference to the Battle of Trafalgar, but we can’t be sure).

Of course, you’ll want to pair your meal with some French wine (again, best enjoyed in a former French yogurt cup).

So raise your cup to James Monroe, the only US president to have a foreign capital city named after him.

Hail to the cheese!

— Sarah

(with thanks to her brother, Matthew, who did most of the leek preparation)

“A little flattery [and a lot of cheese] will support a man through great fatigue.” — James Monroe

Originally published at commanderincheese.tumblr.com.