John Quincy Adams
John Quincy Adams, “Old Man Eloquent,” was a man of many contradictions. Accordingly, we salute him with not just one, but two, grilled cheese sandwiches.
The son of John Adams and his significantly-cooler wife, Abigail Adams, John Quincy hailed from Massachusetts. To honor both the Bay State and the absurd amount of privilege that accompanies being the son of a president, I based Grilled Cheese #1 around lobster.
Fun fact: Did you know oysters require “airing out”? I did not until tonight, when my fellow customer condescendingly instructed the fishmonger (that’s still a term we use, right?) to “air out” his oysters in the ice. Of course, maybe that’s to be expected when you’re in line for $53.23/lb lobster tail at Whole Foods…
John Quincy Adams entered politics at the ripe old age of 14, as a secretary and translator to an ambassador, who was sweet-talking Russia into recognizing the United States as a sovereign nation. Here Adams found his true calling: diplomacy.
In fact, George Washington referred to Adams as “the most valuable of America’s officials abroad,“ which definitely had everything to do with his diplomatic prowess and nothing to do with the fact that Adams’ dad was president. Adams was pretty damn good at the international hustle: He negotiated an end to the War of 1812, a firmer border with Canada, and — you’re welcome — the annexation of Florida.
John Quincy Adams: Smooth, like this rich gruyère
But apparently, being the most powerful man in a fledgling democracy and emerging world power is THE LITERAL WORST. Besieged by fractured Congressional loyalties, “John Quincy Adams entered the presidency with several debilitating political liabilities, including John Quincy Adams himself.” Adams referred to his presidency as the worst time in his life. Of course, this didn’t deter him from seeking re-election in 1828 (what a martyr), a race he lost to Andrew Jackson.
Lobster and gruyère grilled cheese, wine, and a candle to prove its fanciness. Adams would’ve hated this, but he had to put up with because he was president. LIFE IS SO HARD, YOU GUYS.
If you didn’t have to work with Adams, though, he seemed like a delightful grump. He kept an alligator, a gift from the Marquis de Lafayette, in the White House, and swam naked in the Potomac every morning (until pioneering lady-reporter Anne Royall maaaybe confiscated his clothes until he granted her an interview; bold move, madam). Adams also refused to conform to the fashions of the day. He neglected to tie back his hair; chose trousers, not breeches, for his inauguration; and allegedly wore the same hat for ten years. For the modern day equivalent, just imagine Adams rolling into the Oval Office in sweatpants and his grungy “I Woke Up Like This” gym shirt. #Flawless.
This fashion plate was also the first president to have his photograph taken:
More like GQ Adams, amirite?
Despite the incredible privilege he grew up in, Adams had simple tastes when it came to food. Adams claimed, “Five or six small crackers and a glass of water give me a sumptuous dinner.”
Having just consumed five small crackers and a glass of water, we can confirm that dinner was in no way sumptuous, and John Quincy Adams was a filthy liar.
Much like these oyster crackers, John Quincy Adams was a true New England original. Except for his dad, who had the same name and same job.
However, after waiting behind that insufferable guy at Whole Foods, I can see the beauty in a simple snack. You can learn a lot snuggling up with five oyster crackers and good book–like this one about the Grimke sisters, Adams’ fellow anti-slavery activists.
So thanks for keeping it real, JQ, from your rejection of a pre-hipster manbun to your taste in crackers.
Hail to the Cheese!
Erin
“Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost.”
-John Quincy Adams
Originally published at commanderincheese.tumblr.com.
