What a Privilege it is to Have Privilege.
I have a hard time defining privilege because I believe that it holds different meaning to each individual. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary describes privilege with three definitions: (1) A right or benefit that is given to some people and not to others (2) A special opportunity to do something that makes you proud (3) The advantage that wealthy and powerful people have over other people in a society. After trying to grasp each of these concepts, I am still left with a level of uncertainty of what privilege really is.
I spent my childhood and adolescent years in a tight-knit suburban town just outside of Columbus, Ohio. I was blessed with a community that I could rely on, a loving family but also an undeniable urge to travel beyond the borders of my town. How would I describe growing up in the place I call home? A privilege. Even though I grew up in a small community, I was also blessed with a diverse upbringing and the knowledge of the “outside world”. I qualify this part of my life as privileged not because of wealth, or status, or opportunity, but because I knew that somewhere, in another part of the world, someone else didn’t have what I had. It was just the concept of awareness of my own blessings and knowing that I should be appreciative of those things. The idea of privilege has come up more and more as I entered into adulthood, which is a more complex and complicated world beyond the confines of my hometown. As the ideas of privilege have reoccurred, I’ve realized that these benefits I had in my upbringing was not just about myself, but also about the privileges of others.
Although the meaning of the word is ambiguous to me, privilege, is a commonly used term in society. A majority of the time, people use the word with a negative connotation to describe someone’s situation, but in a blog post by Sindelókë, he says, “It’s not a bad thing, or a good thing, or something with a moral or value judgment of any kind attached to it”. It’s an interesting concept, because with privilege, you typically can’t choose it or change it, but many people have it. The mere importance in having privilege is to understand its existence in your life and its lack of existence in other’s lives. Why privilege is commonly viewed as a negative thing is because many people ignore the realities and try to deny its existence in their lives, usually deeming it as something else. This relates to the saying, “putting yourself in the other person’s shoes”, something we’ve all heard before but also fail to acknowledge. What you may have denied before as a privilege has the potential to be accepted as one if you are willing to put yourself in another one’s shoes. Not one person has all of the privileges in the world and not one individual has zero.
The moment when I questioned and resented those that were “privileged” the most was at the time I was applying for college. I cannot even begin to describe how many times I thought about the What if scenarios. What if I had gone to private school? What if I had athletic abilities to qualify for a scholarship? What if my parents were billionaires and could donate a library to any school of my choosing? The list could go on forever, but I didn’t just consider the favorable What ifs. I also asked myself, what if I grew up in an impoverished community? What if I couldn’t even afford to apply for college? What if I didn’t have the means or skills for a future? Unfortunately, rather than justifying my own means for achievement, I criticized those that were. Speaking for myself and for many others I’m sure, we try and justify our shortcomings by blaming others for their advantages. Where does that get us in the world? Nowhere.
What I comprehended from Sindelókë’s concept, described by the metaphor of dogs and lizards, is that we are sharing the earth, like the dog and gecko shared the home. We are all living on the same planet trying to get by the best that we can. His conclusion about privilege is particularly important in realizing the privileges in our lives; “Every single one of us has some kind of privilege over somebody. What matters is whether we’re aware of it, and what we choose to do with it, and that we not use it to dismiss the valid and real concerns of the people who don’t share our particular brand”.
I think that the existence of privilege is life’s way of teaching us to be more open-minded and understanding individuals rather than jealous and resentful ones that is commonly connected with privilege. I know that in my own experience, I seek to somehow still be able to succeed and overcome despite my lack of “privileges” and also using the privileges I do have to make a positive impact. It is easy to overlook the blessings in our lives, but constantly reminding ourselves, can radically change the negative stigma of privilege.
Although Sindelókë’s metaphor about the dog and gecko can clarify some aspects of privilege, I must disagree with Sindelókë’ when he says that most privileges are like when the dog doesn’t get what the gecko is saying to him and keeps hurting her. I think understanding privilege and using it positively lies largely on the simple concept of knowing what you have and what it must be like to not have it. What Sindelókë successfully depicts is that, “Just because you personally can’t feel that hurt, doesn’t mean it’s not real. All it means is you have privilege”. Just like a white male will never know what it will truly feel like to be a woman and walking around in fear of being catcalled, we will never truly experience any privileges other than the ones of our own. But I believe that in our attempts to recognize and accept, it will bring us pretty close to understanding.
Just because we may not have certain privileges, does not mean that we are any less deserving or less capable of living well. These adversities we may face are just an indication that we have to work that much harder to get to where we want to go. Just because people are blessed with privileges doesn’t mean that they have it anymore easier than those who do not have it. They just have to get where they are going, differently.
“Of Dogs and Lizards: A Parable of Privilege” has allowed me to reevaluate the meaning of privilege and how it affects everyday life. Just as the gecko had to live with all of the decision made by the dog, we all must live with “the dogs” in our lives. Unlike the dog’s unawareness of its privileges, we have to be conscientious of how our privileges may influence the lives of others in order to live together as a society.
