From Cause to Effect: A Profound Journey of Transformation
Participation in the cause inevitably leads us to experience the effect. To put it simply in layman’s terms: I made a conscious decision to engage in an act of drink-driving, the cause, and as a result, I was compelled to endure the effects — a rigorous, twenty-year journey of arduous recovery, living with a disability, dealing with social distortion, and experiencing everything from subtle microaggressions to overtly altered expressions.
The mantra, “Live until you die”, took on an entirely new meaning as my personality as I knew it seemed to die. I had often daydreamed about the intriguing idea of starting life anew, armed with my current knowledge and embarking on a fresh journey of learning in a newly awakened consciousness. This desire, albeit in a way I hadn’t previously imagined, came to fruition. I was forced to relearn everything, from basic actions like consuming food and drink, to walking and talking, to understanding the complex nuances of emotional life, intelligence, and the process of learning. It took me 20 years to fully appreciate the transformation born of devastation that I was granted. Inspiration breathed life into me again, or perhaps for the very first time.
Before this life-altering experience, I existed but did not truly live. Narcissism deceived me into believing otherwise, but self-deceit is a trait that’s all too human. Although my current life may not be one that many envy, my exploration into audiobooks, research, and the suggestion of various studies have breathed a new life into my soul. I feel more alive than I have in years, filled with desires and dreams about what I can contribute to others. My long-awaited rejuvenation is slowly taking place, with a return to public speaking, educating the masses, and successful writing.
Through my trials and tribulations, I’ve come to realize that our lives are only complete when we allow ourselves to engage in two key areas of development: opportunity and restraint. Treat every opportunity as a chance to fulfill your potential, and exercise restraint to keep everything within the boundaries of reason. However, do not let this limit your vision. Use restraint to control your ego and your environment. Utilize your energy wisely and let your authentic power and inherent value shine.
Intention before action is critical in this vast learning environment we inhabit. I’ve always had the intention, even unconsciously, to improve the world. This intention didn’t immediately translate into action, but it gradually led me to start public speaking, run a blog, manage a webpage and message board, and write and publish books. I have one in the process of publishing and have started another, each carrying very different but equally important messages.
Impact: The Essence of Living a Fulfilling Life
The essence of living a fulfilling life lies in following and loving intuition, allowing it to guide our actions and influence our outcomes. It is key to do this with love and genuine passion.
I remember a time when I lost some of my power to an addiction that I did not acknowledge or strive to overcome. This addiction, coupled with a false sense of invulnerability, led to a catastrophic event that shook my world to its core. My mind and body seemed to warp, reality bent and warped, and I found myself existing in a world of parallels that was far from the reality I knew. I indulged in alcohol, driving myself into a state of oblivion, giving in to the addictive pull. It is essential to remember, however, that addiction is not stronger than the soul. Still, I managed to maintain a precarious balance without achieving complete healing. I questioned whether the magnitude of my struggle was greater than my desire to overcome it. I did not believe so. I had previously defied the odds, proved naysayers wrong, and experienced empowerment even without total alignment with my true self. I made conscious choices, and each of these choices added to my life’s lessons, serving as parables that guided my healing process. I pushed myself, worked hard, and yet, I did not feel truly satisfied until I saw the fruits of my labor, the products of my hard work.
Wisdom whispers in my ear that I have made mistakes, but my personal choices have not always reflected wisdom. Perhaps there is a divine reason for my inability to comply unquestioningly. I have faith in my intuition, especially when it leads me towards achieving greatness and reaching a state of utopia. My anticipation for evolution and growth is nothing short of perfect.
Embracing a Step Away from Your Usual Self: A New Perspective
Although I personally believe it’s crucial to understand and deeply connect with your own persona, I will delve deeper into my journey and the success I have found in distancing myself from an identity centred around disability.
Of course, completely separating oneself from such an identity is nearly an impossible task. While I have not entirely achieved this, I have made significant strides more so in attitude than in physical terms. I no longer see my disability as a major debilitation, as I feel reborn after years of intensive rehabilitation.
However, this newfound perception of myself does not always translate to those who meet me. Onlookers, especially those who see me for the first time, may perceive a lack of ability and confidence. They may recognize strength and determination, or they may see weakness and clumsiness depending on their personal biases and perspectives. However, these external judgements do not infiltrate my mind to justify a judgement, as I understand that everyone is on their unique journey, following their own intuition or behaving instinctively.
In my journey, I found great comfort and reassurance in disidentification. I am not the best psychologist, am I? But this might not necessarily be a negative thing. Disassociating from an identity that makes you feel vulnerable and part of a marginalized group that often receives little respect from the outside world can be quite liberating and empowering. The collective human assumptions about disability made this a group I felt compassion for, but did not want to be associated with.
During my research, I encountered many individuals with disabilities who were truly admirable. Some of them even managed to capture my heart, as I recognized the struggles they faced and their relentless efforts to advocate for disability rights. My experiences with severe brain damage meant that most of the people close to me had the same injury or illness. This resulted in a great diversity of personalities, and including my past self, we were all unable to make significant contributions to enhance disabled lives by educating society about our experiences.
This greatly influenced my ongoing perspective of my own group. Nevertheless, I harbor an ambition to join some of these remarkable individuals I have seen doing commendable work to promote disability awareness.
Reference:
The Seat of the Soul, Gary Zukav.
