The Power of Friendship: An In-depth Exploration
The concept of friendship, a fundamental bond in life, is an elemental need that is deeply rooted in our instincts to belong. As Lydia Denworth aptly penned in her book, ‘Friendship. The Evolution, Biology and Extraordinary Power of Life’s Fundamental Bond’, the essence of this bond is of monumental significance.
In the quiet, introspective moments of life, when the daily hustle and bustle recedes and the world around me falls silent, I’ve found myself irresistibly drawn to write about something that holds an immense significance in my life. It’s a profound element that I currently find myself noticeably missing, and it’s in these poignant moments of absence, this void, that I find myself wielding my pen with the most clarity, the most depth. This missing piece, this void that I speak of, is the heartwarming presence and comforting companionship of friendship.
The absence of this fundamental bond, this elemental need ingrained in our very nature, has stretched on for an extended period, far longer than I would have ever wished or imagined. In its place, loneliness has become my constant companion, a shadow that follows me, and in its cold, stark company, I find myself yearning for the positive influences that friends introduce into one’s life. I have, indeed, encountered individuals along the way, met people whose paths have crossed mine, but they have failed to exhibit the profound qualities and companionship that I yearn for, that I seek. I am certain that this is not an overstatement or a product of unreasonable expectations. I have been fortunate in the past to enjoy the company of true friends, and these enriching experiences have equipped me with an ability to recognize genuine qualities when they are presented.
The primary reason for my current lack of friends, for my present state of loneliness, can be attributed to my disability. Although society has made strides in reducing stigma associated with disabilities, the hard truth is that if you are not a person with a disability, you are likely unaware of the subtle and often unconscious biases that still exist. Despite best intentions, society tends to undervalue individuals with disabilities, often overlooking us as potential friends who can bring value and enrichment to their lives. On top of this, I have to contend with issues related to mental health, and past behaviours fuelled by intoxication have merely reinforced false prejudices. My true self, with all its potential and worth, only emerges when I am entirely at ease and in a reciprocal relationship.
This is a universal truth: None of us truly grasp the full extent of the impact of friendship on our lives until we are deprived of it. Just as disability can be an invisible destroyer of the soul, so can the absence of friends. The importance of attachment and the basic human drive to connect with others is critical at all stages of life.
A plethora of research has been dedicated to understanding the importance of relationships from an early age. Studies of orphanages and cases of childhood neglect have unequivocally demonstrated that the absence of love and care can lead to devastating consequences, including mental and physical illness, and even premature death. The presence of love and attachment in a child’s life is not just beneficial; it is essential. It shapes their entire future, influencing their well-being and even the longevity of their lives.
The importance of relationships extends beyond childhood. Learning to love and form meaningful relationships is instrumental in learning how to live a fulfilling life. This principle of interconnectedness is consistent across all species, from ants to primates, and it is an intrinsic part of human nature. Altruism, the selfless act of serving others, is a major aspect of social relations. While not all ants form social bonds, many dedicate their lives to the service of others. This behaviour of reciprocal altruism is even reflected in our genetics, influencing social behaviour across species. Ultimately, it can be argued that all human acts, even those that appear selfless, may be driven by a deep-seated instinct for self-preservation.
The initial 1,000 days of a child’s life are a fascinating period of growth and discovery, where they demonstrate a marked preference for human faces and voices. This indicates that the fundamentals of social communication start early in their development. In addition, touch, the most developed sense in a newborn, plays a crucial role in their growth. A child who lacks intimacy or physical contact may face numerous issues, ranging from emotional and biological to neurological, social, and health-related. The significance of effective touch cannot be underestimated, as it forges essential connections and increases survival chances.
Reflecting on my own childhood, I remember being an extremely social infant. I was known to rally the entire school for massive football games, demonstrating my knack for social engagement. However, life took a dramatic turn when I was seven years old. This change is one of only two research-backed explanations for my later struggles with socialization. The second reason is spiritual in nature. The third reason emerged after a severe car accident caused by drinking and driving, which led to a disability. This incident induced new realities in every realm, exacerbating my already troubled emotions, cognition, and relations. My disability brought about a diffused societal perception and a sense of isolation.
Environmental factors, lifestyle choices, and the level of social integration or isolation can significantly determine one’s health and physiology. It’s a well-established fact. Any demand for change inevitably leads to stress. Moreover, social relations are intrinsically linked to health, as stress and social isolation are two of the most significant causes of mortality. The connection between cigarettes and death, as well as the lack of social support, is directly linked to mortality. These social factors trigger physiological differences, and relationships can alter physical responses to stress. A lack of social contact has been the root cause of my pathologies. Loneliness has cellular connections to what it means to be fully human. Mortality and depression are compelling arguments that I can present to my social worker to advocate for additional support. Control and participation are crucial for health, wellbeing, and longevity, and these elements all follow a social gradient.
Individuals who perceive high levels of support tend to show less cardiovascular aging. It’s important to note that everything psychological is inherently biological. The social environment plays a crucial role in deciding which genes are expressed. As a highly social person, I thrive on interaction with those I enjoy being around. My level of social support or isolation directly influences the expression and activation of my genome. I recognize the sustenance that I derive from interacting with others, and this realization alone is enough to justify the need for additional support. I understand that I need to socialize more and I am progressively working towards that goal to enrich my social life.
The support I’ve received has set me on a path of increased self-belief and confidence. I cannot emphasize enough how much I disagree with any attempts to refuse further support for the reasons she has given. A comprehensive 75-year study states that the only thing that truly matters in life is our relationships with other people. A popular TED talk, viewed over 30 million times, affirms that good relationships keep us happier and healthier. It further emphasizes how beneficial social connections are for us and how detrimental loneliness can be.
