Key Career and Life Learnings from a Community Manager in 2013

A report and reflection from the front lines of community management

I wrote the first draft of this post on Christmas Eve, typing away on my laptop with my dog curled up next to me on the couch. I wanted to take a quiet moment to reflect on the things I’ve learned specifically as a community manager this year. It’s been a whirlwind. I’m sure many of my fellow community builders know that things are changing and evolving every single day.

This post is for you, community builder. Take a deep breath and think about all 2013 has brought you. And this is also for you, aspiring community builder, may you enter 2014 with an open mind and a sense that you’re about to do something amazing.

Things I’ve Learned about Personal Branding:

• Being reliable makes you an outlier. Most people are flakes. Don’t be one of them.
• You need a personal brand. You need to make yourself marketable as a community manager/leader/organizer/exec regardless of your current job title. This year, I wrote a lot, blogged for others, began organizing new communities, and created my own philosophy of how communities should function for brands. If you want to do next-level community stuff, you need to take your personal ideas and actions to the next level.

I cut my hair this year. I had no idea how much it would affect my personal brand. But it’s gotten me noticed more, people seem to take me more seriously, and I happen to think it just looks cooler than before. :P

• Community managers should earn more than they do. Full disclosure: in 2013, my yearly earnings have increased by 73%. How did I make that happen? Being unafraid: Unafraid to negotiate, unafraid to try new side projects, unafraid to ask for what I’m worth, unafraid to say no to people who don’t see my worth the same way I do. To be fair, I was a bit afraid to do this at first. Then I told myself that you don’t get anything you don’t ask for and went on my merry way.
• Speak your mind. Your community will appreciate your authenticity. Those who like you will see you as even more of a badass. Those who do not like you can bite the big one. The better you are at what you do and the stronger your personal brand, the more you’ll find a few people who disagree. So listen to them, but ignore them if they’re just negative for no reason. It’s usually their fear that drives them.

The hard stuff we don’t like to talk about:

• Disagreement is okay. Deal with it gracefully. Say you’re sorry when you’re wrong.
• Step back from a situation that increases your heart rate. Whether it’s an angry email you’re responding to, a series of tweets that are offensive about your product, a customer service crisis, or a fight with your significant other. Take a walk. Inhale for 3 seconds, exhale for 5. Repeat until your heart rate decreases to normal.

Take yoga breaths. I learned circular breathing from a doctor this year, and I do it lying down at least once a week. It helps with anxiety and bad moods and all kinds of things. Try these: http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/ART00521/three-breathing-exercises.html.

• It’s okay to let go of a community that no longer serves you. I know it’s hard. I’ve been through it, and I’ve said it before: the most beautiful thing about building strong communities is that you can walk away from them and they will continue to flourish. People will check in on you and it’s okay to check in on them. But when your work is done and your passion is no longer to be found, step away.
• It’s okay to fall apart. As many people close to me know, I had a medical issue for 3 months this year that kept me from work. I couldn’t sustain what I was doing, and that’s okay. It’s okay to fall apart when everything around you falls apart. Do it as gracefully as possible. Or don’t, whatever. People are flawed and weak. Being vulnerable is what makes life worth living. It’s that scary feeling we get when we open ourselves up to others’ judgement and others’ love, and it’s almost always less scary than we imagine it to be.
• Letting go is a process. We want it to be easy, and it isn’t. It takes time and patience. Forgive those who are trying to let go and forgive yourself if you’re still mourning the loss of something or someone.
• It’s okay not to be in control. Enough said.
• Don’t skimp on yourself. Sure, managing your community is important, but you can’t do a good job if you’re not happy with yourself. Take a break if you need one.

Taking a walk around the city instead of staying in for lunch always helps me focus later. Or just going for coffee with a friend.

• Don’t work for people who don’t understand how you work. I’ve been called an “intrapreneur” and a “hustler”. My new job understands this about me completely. It is a breath of fresh air, a taste of freedom I’ve never known before. I couldn’t be more grateful.
• Say yes to people who have faith in you; say no to people who try to control you.

And some practical, actionable advice for community managers:

• Fail in tiny ways. Try things out, even if they seem improbable. Measure, analyze, repeat. You’ll never regret this.
• Tweeting at strangers will take you places. I have gotten jobs, gigs, opportunities, meetings, a relationship, friends, and some of my now very best business connections from a single tweet.
• Go to events. Go to meetups. Go to conferences. Just go.
• Commuting significant distances (more than one hour per day) will slowly kill your soul. Find a way around it. If you’re a community manager who commutes, I’d love to hear from you. How on earth do you make it work?

Just say no. I was commuting 3 hours per day for most of 2013.

• People appreciate a human touch. As a community manager, do not be afraid to share your personality via social media. If you’re posting as your brand, create a brand voice and stick to it. Make it human and authentic to your mission.
• Always ask what you can do for your community before you ever ever ever expect anything in return. Your boss should know this is the case as well.
• Stories matter. Everyone loves to be part of a story. Make your community part of a larger narrative or mission. Blog about it. Get it out there in the press. Make YouTube videos. Tell stories in whatever way makes sense for you.
• Use a social listening tool. Seems obvious, but lots of people don’t. If you don’t have a budget, there are free ones. But you need to be part of any conversations happening around your brand, unless they’re crappy and negative. Then don’t waste your time.

What are some lessons you’ve learned as a community manager in 2013? Did any of these hit home for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

If I can ever help with anything, don’t hesitate to reach out. Or reach out if you want to grab coffee, partner up on something, speak at an SF Community Manager event, have a drink with me, or all of the above.