Bullying, from the Playground to the Office

Don’t be mean to writers or they just might use it against you in writing. That is what a writing group I like on Facebook keeps telling me so, after seeing my bully recently, I was wondering how common it is for bullying to go on in the workplace and the best way for me to find out is to write about my experience and see if anyone can relate.

Maybe the term ‘bullying’ is a bit rough, maybe I should be using the term ‘micromanaging’ as that is the term my then manager used. After tapping her pen on the desk to get my attention while I was interviewing a client in America on the phone and huffing and puffing that I was not ‘selling the product right’ and I was not ‘answering the questions the way I should’ she put on her sympathetic look and said that she did not want to micromanage me. Funny that, because that is exactly what she was doing.

I had been hired as a journalist to write press releases. The interviews went great, my yet-to-be manager seemed pleasant and gave the impression that she would be supportive. She even said that the reason they were hiring a second person was that the company believed it needed a second voice — in the end, all they wanted was an echo of her own voice. Yes, in a company where writing is involved there must be some kind of unified form of how things are put out there, but no two people will ever write the same, even after edits the original voice is still there. That is the thing about writes and creative individuals, they do not take well to being put in boxes, and they will work very, very hard if you only give them room to find their own way. Their never resting soul may just surprise you into the knowledge that maybe, just maybe, they can produce great work if you just untighten the leash.

My bully did train me, she did ‘take my hand’ when I had to be in conference calls with our other offices around the world and she did try not to make me feel like an outsider when there were company events. I will give her that but the way she cleaned her desk at the end of the day and put everything in its place and then wiped the desk surface with antibacterial spray is kind of the way she handled me when it came to work. I was put in a place she deemed me fit for and belittled.

There were mean looks, there were glances at watches when I was a minute late after my lunch break, there were comments like “I would be embarrassed to send out an email like this” and “stress is a part of the job.”

Side note — I made mistakes, I was not perfect, I still make mistakes, I am still a long, long way away from perfect.

I remember going to the doctor because I was throwing up every morning. Yes, stress was the cause, my body was telling me I was in a toxic environment and I either had to talk back, quit my job or find another one. Talking back was not an option, I tried to uphold my professionalism, and having no job was something I was not willing to consider. If I was not working, what would I do? I found another job and another. I put my bully in a very hygienic box labeled ‘the past’ but every now and again she shows up at the same places as me and I can still feel a shudder go through me.