Cutting the Cord.
How do we know when it is time to move on to the next chapter?
We have all set out on a new journey. Bags packed. Tickets in hand. Reviewing our supplies with a nervous anticipation that sits in that vague time-space between afraid and excited. Maybe we are going with a friend, or a lover, or colleagues. And in that, we must negotiate how we plan to spend our time, energy and money. We must negotiate individual priorities. A give and take of energy. And hopefully, as we fly through the universe on this rock together… we can walk away with a cherished memory. Maybe we will carry a souvenir that will eventually be sold in an estate auction under the best of circumstances.
Once upon a time, I lived and worked in Barranquilla, Colombia. I had a week off at the end of my tour. A good friend flew to meet me. All I truly wanted was to fly to Leticia to search for the pink river dolphins in the Amazon. My friend wanted to fly randomly from city to city exploring. As the host, I conceded.
Medellín is amazing.
I have never seen a pink river dolphin in the Amazon.
My father once told me that he sees life like a book. In his book of life he has a number of chapters. And each section of his life is a chapter. I like the metaphor, and look back on the many chapters of my life… and I look forward to the unwritten ones. The older I get, the more I try to plan the next chapter, without just letting it happen to me. Catch me on a day where I am popping off at the mouth and I will quickly tell you… Life doesn’t happen to me. I happen to Life. That’s not necessarily true. But I am quick to say it.
The Party’s Over
Whichever way we try to split it, like the last piece of chocolate… our chapters have an end. Irrespective of how we feel — it happens. The only question left is…
How do we leave the party?
There are a number of ways to leave a party. Sometimes people wait for their host to begin yawning, subtly hinting that it’s time to wrap it up. Some people never even wanted to go to the party in the first place and look for any and every opportunity to make their exit. When I was younger, I would see people get drunk and throw up, only to be carried out while others decided to throw caution to the wind and stay the night.
We can extrapolate my metaphor to relationships. I’ve seen couples gracefully walk into their next chapter following different paths… and I’ve seen them erupt, like a volcano, in the streets — screaming all of their personal affairs for everyone within earshot to take with them.
Indeed, a significant question we should ask ourselves in advance is… how do we leave the party? We can walk gracefully into the next chapter, or be carried drunk with vomit down our shirt… but like the saying goes, You don’t have to go home.. but you can’t stay here…
Cutting the Cord
Moving on doesn’t have to be traumatic. Whether it’s a party, a relationship or a job. Moving on can be a healthy sign of growth. Moving on can present a world of new opportunities. New adventures. Moving on can indeed be something to celebrate.
Rather than being the guest that waits for our host to begin yawning, or the jealous boyfriend screaming in the street…
My recommendation is to try to be aware of our situation and happen to Life, before it happens to us. Grab those scissors confidently and cut that cord like you meant to… and who knows? When you do… there may be a beautiful surprise waiting for you at the beginning of your next chapter.
