What Buyer’s remorse can teach you about crushes, dating choices and relationships
I know you have been in a situation like this.
You sit in a restaurant, look at the menu and make the same order you make every time you are there.
The food arrives and you dig and savouring the taste. Then the waiter brings the food of the patron at the next table the fragrance lifts you off your seat.
You look at their food with fascination and then look at yours and get depressed and dissatisfied. You now wish you had ordered what he had ordered even if it cost a little more.
OR
Have you ever been on the high street or to the mall?
As you pass by a shop, something catches your eye. It’s amazing, so beautiful. You can’t take your eyes off it.
Without a second thought, you rush into the shop and put it on your credit card, even though you know you can’t afford it. You take it home and try it on, and absolutely love it.
THE MORNING AFTER
You wake up and see the newly purchased item, and it doesn’t look so good. In fact, you are thinking What on earth was I thinking?
But it’s too late. You’ve spent the money, and are stuck with something you don’t want.
Ladies will be more familiar with this.
Those expensive shoes that are too tight but look so cute.
You buy them, and then a day later they look ugly, tighter than you remember, don’t match anything in your wardrobe and now you have a debt that isn’t worth it.
It’s called Buyer’s Remorse.
Unfortunately many people take this approach to relationships.
They see or meet someone and get all excited.
Like the person that rushes into the store without a second thought and put that item on the card, they rush into relationships; relationships that they can not psychologically, emotionally, financially or spiritually afford in the long run.
A relationship they enter is based only on attraction or personality but not character.
Unlike the shoes, they may enjoy the sensation for weeks or even months, before remorse of some sort kicks in.
They have invested in a person, a relationship, that may have some sort of value, but is more of a burden than they bargained for.
I’m not a relationship expert, far from it.In fact, i’ve been told categorically that because i don’t bounce in and out of relationships every so often, i know nothing and should not talk.
So you can discard these analogies, and tell me that
“Love is not a science”.
“It’s not black and white”,
“It’s not that simple”
and my personal favourite
“You can’t translate such analogies to real life, things don’t always work out that way”
MAYBE, but one thing I know is I can learn from other people’s mistakes and avoid them myself .
I’ve seen too many “madly in love” engagements scatter beyond repair and it had nothing to do with infidelity .
I dunno about you but I bruise like a grape and I’d rather learn from as many observations than experience it for myself.
Many of those that tend to make those excuses are caught in a vicious cycle.
They are in and out of the same type of relationships 2 or 3 times within an 18 months span.
They’d rather endure the pain of temporary pleasure they get from those relationships than the patience of some ALONE time without any form of romantic involvement.
A time they take to discover themselves and work on becoming the person that is ready for a better longer lasting and permanent relationship.
For those of you leaving your 20’s and still single.
You may feel the need to “go for the next cute person who ticks the looks, good job, full set of teeth” box, as u feel u are running out of time.
Unlike shoes, the buyers remorse of relationships is emotionally, psychologically and in some cases physically more devastating.
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