Impact gender diversity

The fast, easy and effective way.

I’ve been quietly mulling over in my head the gender issues that are being actively debated in the blogosphere and experienced in the ‘real world-osphere’. There is clearly a lot of pain seeping through the crevices of our busy lives when it comes to the ‘woman’ issue. And appropriately, there is no shortage of books, stats, task forces, quotas and even female focussed venture capital funds being offered as a solution to quell this pain.

These are all great things. People are raising awareness. But change of this magnitude takes time.

I think there is a simpler, immediately actionable solution that has the potential to groundswell into a way of life.

We live in a world of translating vision into commercial realities. It is a uniquely creative era that requires self belief and self actualisation to progress. Therefore, it goes that if more women ‘believe in themselves’ more women will self actualise (as a mother, entrepreneur, worker bee, yoga master — anything).

How do we achieve this in the ‘real world-osphere’? Lead by example.

Last week, an old friend asked my husband to advise a very talented female entrepreneur. He was busy flying around the world and yet he made time during his trip to have a quick cup of coffee.

A week later, I met this woman and the first thing she said was, “Hey, I was really shocked by the advice your husband gave me.”

“Really?” I said.

“Yes. He told me to exercise so I could clear my head and sleep better. He said I needed to slow things down in order to go faster. And then he said, don’t be afraid to fail. The peculiar nature of innovation is that you are more likely to get it right through the humbling process of getting it wrong. That coffee was the most important meeting of my year.”

In helping — this woman — he was also helping me all over again, our daughter and other women.

As I listened to her story, I realized there is only one story and it is being told over and over again.

The story goes like this — it is bloody hard to be an entrepreneur. Many of us have read and appreciated Ben Horowitz’ passage on ‘The Struggle’ from his recent book which so aptly summarizes the entrepreneur’s journey. Few women or men, for that matter, have that much fight or passion in them. The choices are difficult and often sprout wings of their own, bifurcating the path you painstakingly set out for your team and your shareholders in the countless business plans and messaging sessions you produced.

The uncertainty, the long hours — the public scrutiny — are more often than not rewarded with a ‘no’, ‘she can’t execute’, ‘she won’t pull it off’, ‘I don’t get it’, ‘who is looking after her kids — is she really committed?’ It weighs you down, hardens you and can even make you angry.

Be the person you want your kids to learn from when you are no longer around to protect them.

All the stuff we say to our kids — ‘be positive’, ‘take care of yourself’, ‘respect others’ and for goodness sake, ‘be nice to the kid sitting alone in the playground with no one to play with’. We spend an awful lot of time teaching our kids how to collaborate and build meaningful communities. And yet, we don’t always lead by example.

And there are practical reasons to do this beyond just being ‘nice’. We live in an interconnected world where it literally ‘pays’ to build bridges. To discount the ability of others to learn, grow and create is at odds with innovation. In today’s world, yesterdays “kid sitting alone in the playground” is likely tomorrow’s most popular kid.

Your ability to benefit from this trend and to create an impact begins and ends with you as a person, in all your different states— boss, colleague, investor, friend, husband and even father on the school run.

Have that quick cup of coffee. It’s fast, easy and effective.

And always — ALWAYS — check yourself when you feel the urge to say something bad about someone.

It will only come back to haunt you and an interconnected web of others in the long run.

P.S. I can count today easily 100 men around the world — the men on my team, my business partner, investors, industry contacts, competitors, and new friends I have made on Medium — that have helped propel me forward as a woman in my field. Thank you.

Edited by the skillful hand of my Editor in Chief, Lily Valentine