So, you want to have some kids, huh?
(A cheat sheet for women who are having trouble meeting the right guys)
Over the years I’ve known tons of women who dream of meeting a guy they can start a family with. Considering populations in the West are plummeting, I’m officially sick of hearing it. So let me take on the roll of bull in a China shop and start offering some real suggestions.
For starters, if you to want to drastically increase your odds of finding a nice guy who wants to settle down and have kids, then start dating conservative guys.
There are different reasons for this, but conservative guys by nature are more family oriented, more career oriented, and more focused on personal responsibility. They also, quite frankly, are more open to the idea that having a family is good for society. All qualities that are almost the definition of conservative.
The vast majority of women I meet (who have trouble finding a guy who wants to start a family) are left-leaning liberals and they spend time going after guys with similar politics.
Maybe it was different 40 years ago, but white liberal guys today are not thinking along the lines of personal responsibility or commitment. They’re thinking about the government covering their student loans and having fun, and if they think about family and community at all it’s only in a vague, global, sanitized PC sense.
Yes, their eyes might light up talking about global warming or gender equality, but press them on taking the responsibility of a having a family with you, and they’ll give you evasive answers, if they don’t bolt straight for the door. Don’t believe me––try it.
And the simple reality is, the under 30’s crowd in the West leans liberal among women, but not so much among guys. Which means you are in heavy competition for fewer guys who generally aren’t serious in the first place.
Of course there are always exceptions, but don’t you want go for the better odds?
Another huge problem I see is that women are horribly uninformed about their own biology. Many women really seem to think that they can wait until their late thirties to start having kids. The best time for a women to have children is in her early twenties. By the time a woman is 35, her fertility starts to plummet and the chance of the baby being on the autism spectrum skyrockets.
I’ve known way too many friends, and friends of friends, who waited, and, despite of tons of money and effort spent on fertility treatments, couldn’t get pregnant. I’ve also know many women who started late and weren’t able to have more than one or two children when they would have liked more.
Gavin McInnes does a great job of discussing this angle, and on 83 out 0f 100 days, he’s funnier than I am. Here, talking about one of many NYC girlfriends of his, but typical:
Jeannie is 40 now. I remember a few years ago, I told her she was running out of time and she looked at me like I had asked if I could put my watch in her vagina. She actually walked out of the room and went home. Today she has her ovaries frozen and asks me to fix her up with a guy every time we meet. It ain’t happening.
There is one more thing that people don’t want to mention in polite company, but that seems quite clear. It’s also time related.
A lot of women, great-looking in their twenties, see their looks and options fade in their thirties. Of course it isn’t just a problem women have, many men fall apart too. Which doesn’t help things either.
I know, career and responsibilities take their toll. A lot of my friends partied with the best of them. People get out of shape, we all get older. It’s normal.
What I’ve seen way too many times, though, is women I know who turned around in panic (and I really mean panic) in their mid-thirties, and suddenly realized the dating scene isn’t quite as easy as it was in their twenties.
The bar scene has lost its allure. Partying has lost its allure. They don’t have as much time to socialize, and while most everyone looked pretty good in their twenties, people in their thirties, well, let’s just say it’s a mixed bag.
And contrary to some vague popular belief, being on a very tight schedule to settle down and have a family tends to make guys who aren’t on such a tight schedule run. You see it on dating sites. They all have the profile option to say if you want kids. Everyone leaves it blank because it just looks desperate.
And the women with their long term relationship who just assumed they would have kids at some point, but didn’t clarify it with their menfolk? I would say they have a 50% chance of getting dumped as soon as they push it, though I would definitely encourage them to push. And if they get dumped, be thankful it was sooner rather than later so they can move on.
You might be surprised how many guys will fob off women for years with vague assurances that they are open to having a family. Hell, I know guys doing it right now.
You know, it’s interesting: there are so many fantastic women who want to meet a guy and have a family, raise some kids. They just can’t seem to find the right guy.
It all boils down to a really simple reality check. Talented and beautiful women live in big liberal cities like San Francisco and London, Berlin and NYC. And they can’t find guys that want to seriously discuss having a family.
There are plenty of ethnic European, Western males that want to have families and raise some beautiful kids. You just need to tweak your strategy to make finding them a lot easier.