Performance Review Cheat Sheet

Here’s a quick cheat sheet to decipher your Q1 performance reviews.

“Hard worker” = Never finishes anything

“Great attitude” = Might be on drugs

“Good communicator” = Needs to stop emailing me

“Creative problem solver” = Creates a lot of problems

“Collaborative” = Gets other people to do his work

“Results driven” = Will throw you under the bus

“Excellent time management skills” = Uses my meetings to check email

“Passionate” = Always interrupting me

“Detail-oriented” = Has no idea what we’re doing here

“Punctual” = Leaves everyday at 5

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Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian and creator of Her first book, 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings is out now!