Software Engineer Cheat Sheet

Use this cheat sheet to decipher what your software engineers are really saying

“It’s a non-trivial amount of work” = I won’t be able to copy and paste

“This is a temporary solution” = This is a permanent solution

“I’ll be finished by Monday” = I won’t tell you which Monday

“That’s funny” = I literally hate you

“Do you want it done fast or do you want it done right?” = It will be neither

“Just file a bug” = I have no idea what you’re saying right now

“That’s an expansion of scope” = I forgot you needed that feature

“We can’t test that” = We can but we won’t

“I’ll just put it behind a flag for now” = It will never ship

“I fixed the bug” = It started working again and I have no idea why

“I can’t realistically estimate that” = Deadlines aren’t my thing

“I don’t think users will care about that” = I have dinner reservations at 8

“This is an Alpha release” = It doesn’t work

“This is a Beta release” = We fixed a lot of bugs but it still doesn’t work

“Let’s phase 2 that” = I’m hoping you’ll forget about it

“We are focusing on high priority fixes only” = I’m going to go take a nap

“We have a lot of technical debt” = I copied and pasted too much

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Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian and creator of Her first book, 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings comes out October 4th.