Hesitation Is What Separates You From Enjoying Life.
Tonight, after consuming way too much information, I went to bed at 3am. I couldn’t sleep. I was trying to figure out how I could finally take all the insights I’ve been acquiring over the last years about life, how we function, what we want, and everything else really and share them in a concise(!) form.
Previously, I worked in investment banking and started two companies. That was before I, at that time unknowingly, took three years off to understand what we really want from life and how we can all live happier and more fulfilling lives (I wasn’t and many of us don’t). I didn’t start out with that question but it’s what my journey turned into.
Tonight, I finally found the answer. And the answer is so shockingly simple, you might want to stop reading here but hear me out.
We all want to ENJOY life. Everything else is a means to that end.
The key, and what took me so long is to decipher what ENJOY means. Applying the dictionary definition to life is misguided:
Life is not just enjoyment. But whatever you do, should CONTRIBUTE to a joyful life.
Let me give you an example. In the past three years, I’ve travelled a lot, explored the world, lived in many places, met incredible people, spend the majority of my working time reflecting, discussing and learning about life as well as sharing these insights with many. I had found what I believe to be my calling and was able to do and work on what I wanted when I wanted.
But something was missing. And I couldn’t figure it out until tonight. I used to think it was a frustration with myself that I had not taken my coaching and advisory practice to where I would like it to be by now. I blamed my wide range of interests (which can be distractions) and my perfectionism. But this was not it.
What I was doing wrong until tonight is that I was thinking too much what I should or should not do instead of just doing what feels right.
Hesitation Is What Separates You From Enjoying Life.
Re-read that sentence and visualize when you last hesitated. Probably just a moment ago. You wanted to do something but you didn’t. How did that feel?
Writing this article at 4am and hitting the publish button without knowing what I will make of it tomorrow might not seem like smart idea. But it feels good right now and therefore it is right.
Don’t think but do. Then reflect about your actions so you continuously do better.
I finally realized that I’ve been spending so much time thinking, evaluating, optimizing, agonizing about my choices that it has become a burden to the quality of my life experience.
Life happens now and now only. And for “now” to be good, you need to be right here, not in your thoughts and hesitations or you just wasted this moment.
So right now I’m starting an experiment: From now on, I will make every single decision on the spot. I realized that I’ve been spending a significant part of my life thinking about how to make those decisions. That’s not just lost time in life but it’s also an unpleasant time (when you’re not sure what to do).
If I look back on my life,
decisions rarely (if ever) turned out better the more I thought about them.
I always knew deep down what I wanted but I often endlessly questioned possible choices (that’s time suffering), usually worsened by other people’s advise on what I should do (how would they know? They are not me. But that’s for another post) only to then choose the more rationale, safer or conservative option or, worse, to stick to the status quo.
So from now on, I will
simply do what feels right.
(That’s something pretty hard to do for someone who thinks for a living!)
I believe we are all perfectly fit to make decisions on the spot. I go further,
the best decision you make is the one you make on the spot and the longer you hesitate, the worse your decision will be.
(Yes, life is beautifully counterintuitive. I will cover that in another post).
The scientific explanation to why that is (and I’m still in disbelieve as it was really in plain sight for years) is that our brain acts like a massive filter of our senses. We consciously perceive just a fraction of reality (otherwise we would be totally overwhelmed and go crazy). Our subconscious mind is the much bigger brother to our conscious mind and makes up the vast majority of our thinking mind. It processes and remembers a much larger amount of information. Therefore, our non-conscious mind is also vastly smarter and more knowledgeable than our conscious, rationale mind.
This explains why we experience something called gut feeling. Our organs, including our gut, are connected to our brain through the Vagus nerve, which acts like a walkie-talkie between our (subconscious) brain and gut.
So what can you do to live a happier, more content and fulfilled life? Follow your intuition and don’t spend all your life hesitating what you should do and what could happen. You already know the answer. Go out and do it!
Bedtime now :)
You can learn more about me here:
Who I am: vincentdaranyi.com.
How I like to help: consciousx.co.
And my more recent video logs on Facebook where I’m sharing my daily thoughts on life, happiness and well-being: fb.me/vincentdaranyi.
You might also enjoy my previous article: Strategies for a Better Life — Overcoming Anxiety.
Thank you for heart-ing this article. And please leave a comment. Have a great day and go out and do stuff! :)
