Men and The Truth About Sexual Violence
Society, today, does not look fondly on men who were victimized by sexual violence (including rape). This is a world wide issue. In various parts of the world, including the US, there are groups who believe men can not be victims of sexual violence. I am here to tell you we can.
I have seen so much of what happens to men, first hand. This happened through multiple rapes at the hands of two women & an early childhood spent as a Child Sex Slave.
Sexual Assault and Men
Today, we know that many forms of sexual assault exist, and it’s not just with male genitalia that law enforcement looks at rape.
At one point, as an example, I lived in Ohio and started seeing a woman we will call Betty. Betty and I got on great, for the longest time. She and I moved in together, in the Toledo area. This is when things went south. There were points where we would argue, bicker, and make up as couples are want to do. This was fine. The problem arose the first time she punched me and started attacking me until I gave in and had sex with her. I was raised to never raise a hand to a woman, even in self defense. When I threatened to call the police on her, she said “Go ahead, When they get here I will tell them I was raped by you and they will take you to jail.” After some research, later on, I found she was right. At the time of the attacks, the laws in Ohio were written in such a way that I had to prove bruises and she just had to say I did it. These laws make it a Guilty until Innocent situation for men and women can get away scot free.
Broader Statistics on Male Victims of Sexual Violence
Keep in mind, the stats that I will reference here are flawed. They are flawed, not through any fault of the researchers and writers, but through the shame of our victimization and knowledge we would be mocked, called liars, and referred to as many names as you can come up with. If you can come up with it, I have probably been called it.
In 2011 the National Sexual Violence Resource Center had the following statistics about sexual violence, as it relates to men:
· About 1 in 7 men has experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime.
· One in 19 men has experienced stalking victimization at some point during their lifetime in which they felt very fearful or believed that they or someone close to them would be harmed or killed.
· Almost 53 percent of male victims experienced some form of intimate partner violence for the first time before age of 25
· More than one-quarter of male rape victims were first raped when they were 10 years old or younger.
· Male victims of violence (sexual violence, stalking, intimate partner violence) were significantly more likely to report physical and mental health problems than male non-victims. NSVRC (December 14, 2011)
So, What Now?
So what now? What do we do to make a better climate for mail victims of sexual violence? This is a question with both an easy and a hard answer. The hard part is in relation to attitudes about sexual violence. Changing those attitudes will take a long time, as it did when we started focusing, rightly so, on sexual violence against women. With patience, support, and constant education, we can do this though. We need a campaign to educate society on the true evils of sexual violence, as it pertains to men. We need support for those who self identify as victims, and, most importantly, we need to stand up and say to men, come forward. We are here, we love you, and we want to help you.
