Are You Wrestling With God’s Love And Grace?
The journey to understanding his ways
I’ve had questions on my mind as of late. It’s not the first time I wrestled with this subject.
There are a couple questions that I keep circling back to.
How does God really love me? Why can’t I always feel God’s grace?
I become confused, agitated, and I feel undeserving of the things promised by God. I can’t always figure out why, but if you’re in my boat, hopefully I can offer some encouragement.
I’ve recently been listening to NEEDTOBREATHE more often. They have a lyric on one of their songs — Mercy’s Shore — that I think helps me understand God’s love and grace more clearly.
At the very least, it gives me a picture of the way God handles us, whether or not we’re fully present.
We’re a child in the car asleep
In the driveway at night
Our mother’s gonna slowly sneak
Our body inside
We can rest in the arms of trust
There’s no way that we can say
We’ve earned our way into light
All we have to do to is stay
The illustration of the child being carried inside the house after falling asleep in the car is a depiction that I can’t get enough of lately.
The idea that we could be the child. That we’re riding in this car and we just trust our parents enough to get us where we need to go. We trust so much that we actually fall asleep on the journey home.
And then in the second part — we just allow our mother to carry us inside as we continue to rest, trusting that she will get us to warmth and comfort, so that we can continue our sleep.
It seems odd to picture God’s love and grace like that as an adult, but it truly brings me back to this idea of having “childlike faith”.
Of course the ending of the lyric — all we have to do is stay.
This is the big one. This lyric helps me think about God’s love and mercy and grace in a different way.
God is unchanging. He is consistent. His love abounds, his grace abounds, and he never gives up on us. We can always count on him.
So, if his love and his grace and his mercy stays constant, then what do we have to do?
We just stay.
We just stay within his blessing. We stay within his love, within his forgiveness, within his care.
All we have to do is stay.
It’s always been difficult for me to grasp that Jesus has already done everything that needs to be done for us to come into salvation.
There is nothing we can do to be loved more by God. There is nothing we can do to be saved. Jesus did it. We just have to accept it. We just have to stay.
This is tough for a lot of us to grasp. It’s easy to know, right? It’s easy to read that and just go, “well yeah, of course I know that”.
The difficult part is grasping it, understanding it, and applying it to our thinking. So when we’re challenged, we have that knowledge in the quiver and can fight the enemy of doubt.
It’s why I continue to wrestle with grace, forgiveness, and God’s love.
I know I shouldn’t. I know that if I was in my Bible enough, I probably wouldn’t struggle as much with this concept. Or maybe I would.
Maybe it’s in our nature as people, and Christians, to struggle and wrestle with God’s love and mercy. Maybe it’s in our nature to wrestle with his word.
But if you feel like you’re in the midst of a struggle. If you’re wrestling with something. If you’re stressed and anxious, and if you feel no rest — I want this to be an encouragement to you.
Just stay. Stay within his love and mercy. Stay within his arms.
Remember Hebrews 13:8 —
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
That’s good news! It means that he’s going to get us home. He is going to carry us inside and lay us down to rest. All we have to do is let him.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
-Matthew 11:28–30
Regardless of your fears, your doubts and failures, your worries, regardless of anything that keeps you from believing the truth in these passages — hear this now — Jesus loves you no matter what.
No matter what you do or don’t do. He loves you. He forgives you. He is carrying you inside. So, trust him. Stay.
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
-2 Corinthians 12:9
