Recognising a Malignant, Toxic and Abusive Parent
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
~Ephesians 4:2–3
Have you ever felt like you are being controlled, unable to do something that you have always wanted, or felt pressured into something that you didn’t really want to do? Have you felt that your parents are controlling your life? Have you ever asked yourself why? Every day, thousands of children are abused in their own homes without even knowing it.
Susan Forward, the author of Toxic Parents writes:
“Our parents plant mental and emotional seeds in us — seeds that grow as we do. In some families, these are seeds of love, respect and independence. But in many others, they are seeds of fear, obligation, or guilt.”
They justify their actions by saying “I am only looking out for you because I love you”. So often, what that really means is, it’s about them not you. What is sad is they were most likely treated the same by their parents and them before that, and so the intergenerational tradition continues.
Over the past 18 years, Paul S. Waugh of Lighthouse Global has carried out some intensive investigations into the level of toxicity in families and how it affects children in later years. In that 18-year period, we have had over 30 people join Lighthouse at various levels of involvement, and have spoken to, mentored, coached and counselled hundreds more, but the one underlying factor in each case was that to a greater or lesser degree, there was toxicity and abuse that we have all endured in our lives, particularly within the family unit.
Recently, Paul released another episode of the Waugh Rooms on the Lighthouse Global YouTube Channel and invited two associate partners at Lighthouse, Jai Singh and Sukh Singh to speak up about the abuse they received over a 30-year period from a highly toxic mother, Rani Singh. In this video, (a shortened version of the original), Paul, Jai and Sukh, along with Chris Nash, (new Chairman and Co-CEO of Lighthouse), mentor and good friend to both Jai and Sukh, share some of their experiences.
This is the first case out of many here in Lighthouse that we will be using to share our personal testimonies while educating and reaching those who are willing to look at their own experiences and grow through them. What we have found aren’t isolated incidents, these stories are evidence of how this world is breaking down because of malignant, toxic families, and it is something that many do not even realise they need to know about, the degree of toxicity within themselves as well as within their families.
If you have any questions relating to this video, or if you are experiencing something similar and are looking for support, please feel free to contact us, and one of the members of the team will be happy to answer any questions you may have.
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