10 Red Flags You’re Dating an Abuser

Christina Hoag
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Published in
3 min readOct 1, 2016

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Domestic violence, intimate partner abuse, dating violence. No matter what you call it, it’s pervasive in societies around the world, cutting a wide swath across socioeconomic, racial, ethnic and religious lines.

Unfortunately, most people never learn the signs of dating abuse and many are surprised when they finally figure it out. Because it’s not as easy as you think. While physical violence is pretty straightforward, emotional abuse is far more insidious and not as recognizable as a bruise.

However, it tends to follow a set pattern of behaviors, and when you’re familiar with what they are, they jump out at you. But if you’re not trained to spot them, they can be easily misread, justified or dismissed. In my YA novel Girl on the Brink, the story of a teen romance that turns into an abusive relationship, the main character Chloe experiences all the following red flags in her relationship with Kieran, which starts out as a passionate, intense romance but ends in disaster.

1. Rushed relationship. He presses for an exclusive commitment almost immediately. He claims to have never loved anyone like this before.

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Published in Contemplate

Reflections of the Mindful — A publication designed for the writer to reflect, the reader to be inspired, the creatives to find their muses.

Christina Hoag
Christina Hoag

Written by Christina Hoag

Journalist, novelist, world traveller. Author of novels Law of the Jungle, Skin of Tattoos and Girl on the Brink. Ex Latin America foreign correspondent.