First Coffee, then Kindness
A Meeting in the Mind
The Parable of the Emotional Boardroom
The Facilitator arrives at the room early, flipping on fluorescent lights and dropping vegan pastries in the middle of the large oval table. It is the Facilitator's job to get things in order for a productive morning meeting in order to have The Best Day Possible.
The Facilitator offers an encouraging smile as The Emotions start to file in. A quick roll call shows that Happiness, Childlike Excitement, Sadness, Fear, Anger, and Confidence have all made an appearance this morning.
“Good Morning team!” The Facilitator beams, “We have a full day ahead of us in which we will need to be emotionally available for our job and also kind to ourselves! We are all Valid. Does anyone have anything they want to bring to the team for processing so we can have the best day possible?
Fear clutches a cup of coffee. Their knees are curled to their chest as they begin to speak.
“When I wake up every morning I am bowled over by a crashing wave of everything. I don’t do my job well enough. How can I help people with mental illness when I still struggle every day? What if some kind of tragedy happens while I am at work and I could have stopped it but I wasn’t there? What if…”
Confidence rests a warm hand on Fears shoulder and says, “Take a breath.” Confidence breathes in deeply through their nose while Fear breathes with them.
Confidence addresses the other Emotions around the table. “Fear and I have been working together to get past this morning slump. Maybe today you would like to join us?”
Confidence gestures to the group to join hands, takes another deep breath, and says, “I acknowledge my fears and I don’t let them slow me down. I am a well-liked and well-respected person. I am trying my best and that is enough. I recognize my limits and I will be kind to myself when I reach them. I understand that not everything is in my control and I accept that. Inhale love.” Again, Confidence takes a big breath through their nose, “And exhale doubt.” Confidence gives Fear a supportive squeeze, makes eye contact around the table.
After a brief pause the Facilitator smiles again. “Thank you, Confidence. I think we can all use a reminder to stop and breathe.” The Facilitator looks at Fear. “We hear you and you are valid. Who else would like to share?”
Anger stands up, a stern look set on their face. Envy rises next to them, a spitfire, small but mighty.
Anger begins, “Did you hear that our loved ones have to lie in order to get needed assistance from the government? Did you hear our friend was taken off their psychiatric medications suddenly and has no choice but to endure the withdrawals? Did you know that capitalism doesn’t care about the people who need help because they aren’t the ones making money? How can we be anything but enraged?”
Envy speaks up as though taking a cue, “It’s not fair! How come others can afford a vacation but we can’t? Others can accidentally start a family but we have to spend thousands of dollars on a prayer? We have to declare bankruptcy to forgive medical debt we would have died without, but others can throw money away on things that don’t matter? Why is it harder now to live ‘the American dream’ than it was even twenty years ago!” Envy stamps a small foot and says again, “It’s not fair!” At this, Sadness bursts into messy tears.
The Facilitator knows that Anger and Envy struggle more than others with The Way the World Is. The group hears these arguments almost daily, but none have any idea how to fix a system that is so broken.
“Thank you both for sharing,” The Facilitator says, “You’re right. It’s not fair and so much about the world we live in is infuriating. Sometimes I just want to throw a temper tantrum! You are both valid.” The Facilitator looks around at pinched faces and worried brows. “Maybe now would be a good time to hear from Childlike Excitement?”
Childlike Excitement stands on their chair and pulls a bright purple crocus from the liminal space in which The Emotions exist. “Spring is coming! Crocuses have started to pop up downstate and even though we don’t have them yet, we definitely will! And when spring comes, everything will be green and all kinds of flowers will wake up! The days will get longer and we can play in the warmth of the sun all day! These are things that are worth being excited for!”
Childlike Excitement beams, passing purple, white, and yellow crocuses around, watching as smiles peek out from the other Emotions. Sadness offers a wet smile. She is a quiet emotion, often lingering in the background.
The Facilitator tucks their own crocus behind their ear. “Thank you, Childlike Excitement. It helps us all to remember that with every down there is also an up. Happiness?”
Happiness had been watching quietly, knowing that The Facilitator always wants to end on a positive note. Happiness looks around the table and asks “Does anyone else want to share before we finish up?”
Having no volunteers, Happiness rises to their feet. “We are all equally valuable and necessary to help this Life be authentic,” they begin, “and there will always be something to be happy about. Today, we have food in our fridge and a roof over our heads, not just for ourselves but for the loved ones who live with us. I am happy because I have a warm bed and clean water. I am happy because there are cures and treatments for illnesses. I am happy because I know that today I will eat delicious food, I will move my body, and I will laugh. I am happy because life is unpredictable, and that is both scary and beautiful. I know I will do my best today. The Dalai Lama said, ‘If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.’ I hope we can take that with us into the world this morning, spread kindness like confetti, and make small differences every day.”
The Facilitator gives a soft smile around the table, letting Happiness’s words sink in for a moment. Finally, they stand up and declare with assurance, “Today will be a good day!”
