MY RELATIONSHIP WITH BUGS IS COMPLICATED

I Love Most Insects, but Earwigs Bug Me

It was all over when they swarmed at my front door

Michelle Marie Warner
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Published in
6 min readJun 2, 2024

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Close-up photo of an earwig perched atop a stem with a dried flower, against a blurred green background
Photo by MelaniMarfeld on Pixabay

I remember the earwig invasion like it was yesterday.

I was two years sober, living in a studio rental in Santa Barbara. It was 2005 when studio apartments cost around $750 a month. You know, reasonable by California coast standards, unlike now.

I lived downstairs in Lucky #7. Little did I know, my luck was about to run out.

It probably rained the night before, another unusual phenomenon for our now drought-ridden beachfront city. Or the landscapers had over-watered the plants. All I know is that there was a puddle near my front door.

And who should I see occupying it? Hundreds of earwigs, waiting to storm right in and eat me alive. Some evil rogue dudes dared to try crawling over my threshold. Oh no, I don’t play like that. Those little punks didn’t make it to the linoleum.

I didn’t hesitate to crush them with a tissue and send them straight to Hell via my toilet. It was the first time I recall purposely killing an insect who came into my house.

I rarely feel threatened by insects with pincers or stingers. After all, they have them for protection…

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Michelle Marie Warner
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Writer of all things personal, socially conscious, sensitive, single LGBTQIA+ mom. Ready to bite off more than I've been chewing. michellewarner718@gmail.com