Awareness
Mindfulness
What does ‘IT’ mean?
There is that word again… Used, sometimes overused…often used mindlessly…without thought of what the word really means, so before we go any further, let me give you my take on what the word mindfulness means to me.
Mindfulness to me means paying attention to, and acting upon, as much as possible, those thoughts that go through your mind…that thought process that is a continuation of actions, feelings, a combination of our five common senses, which tell us something, on a regular daily basis. Sights; smells; sounds; touch; taste. Being mindful, in other words being aware, fully aware not only of our five senses, but also of the feelings and thoughts that being mindful evoke in us. And paying attention! Taking action! Becoming more constructive! Nurturing those thoughts and feelings so that we can create a brighter, healthier, and more calming way of living for ourselves and for those around us.
Many people, in order to become more mindful, more aware, find help through meditation, and there are so many and varied ways to meditate. Guided meditations can be extremely helpful especially with a good teacher, and will certainly enhance our ability to heighten our levels of sensitivity, to raise our levels of consciousness, of our awareness, so that we can use our five senses to much better effect. Those senses can tell us more, help us go deeper in our understanding of the power of our mind…our mindfulness! And I believe that the power of our mind, the power of our thoughts, is the most powerful and incredible tool we were given, when we were given the gift of life!
Aside from meditation, there are also so many other tools that we can use to create a better awareness, a stronger understanding of the need for us to be mindful. One of the most important lessons we need to learn as we go through this life is the lesson of communication.
No matter how mindful we might become, not only of our own selves, our own actions, our own thoughts, and those of others, we can fail in our understanding if we cannot communicate well. If we cannot be precise about those things we are trying to communicate, both to ourselves and to others. Even when we think we are communicating well, how many times have we heard this phrase…” well, I thought you said…” or, “oh, I thought you meant…” or, “maybe if you’d said…’communicated’…differently, I’d have understood better…”
Now, meditation can certainly relieve anxiety in moments like this. Meditation can have a very calming and peaceful effect to help relieve our stress, but as I said earlier, there are many tools we can use to improve and to be more aware of our own selves, and to understand that if we are indeed, miscommunicating, then we need to take responsibility for that, and we need to become more aware, more mindful, to change the way we approach our method of communicating. In other words, we need to put more thought into not only what we say, but also in the way we use our words, our body language, and we also need to be sure that those we are trying to communicate with understand what we are actually trying to say, and not simply presume that we are being understood.
So I thought I would pull out of my own personal toolbox a small exercise that I insist my students do, and which is very helpful in learning the art of communication.
In the Native American culture, and this little-known fact may surprise some of you, there are certain words, around thirty-five to forty, which are not only absent in the Native American language but also which there are no substitutes for. WEED: PROMISE: TRUST: ASSUME: THEY: THEM: these six words are just some examples. The word IT is also one of those words you will not find in the Native American language, and this is the word I will be suggesting you become mindful of if you decide that you might like to try the exercise I am going to share with you.
The word IT is probably one of, if not the worst offender in creating miscommunication.
Example: “it’s upsetting”…what is?
Example: “it is really bothering me”…what is?
Example: “it doesn’t work for me”…what doesn’t?
So, I think you get the picture. The word IT can be perfectly understandable to the person using IT, but can leave the rest of us with a world of assumptions.
The exercise? See if you can spend a whole week without using the word IT either verbally or in any other way. When you do find yourself using this word, MINDFULLY learn to be more specific by rephrasing. Be clear, be precise, become more AWARE in what you are trying to communicate, either to yourself or to others. This will enable you to take responsibility of miscommunications, give you a better understanding of the need for clarity, and enhance your mindfulness.
Have fun with IT! And by the way, just FYI, have you noticed that aside from my gift to you all of this most important and useful tool, I have not, throughout this article, used the word IT once!
The last thing I want to do is to be misunderstood or to miscommunicate!!!
