POETRY

Picking Scabs

They Never Really Heal

Susan Brearley
Dec 10, 2020 · 2 min read
Vintage skates, memories of past trauma laden joy

When I was smaller
I would strap metal plates with wheels —
Onto my dusty old shoes.

Go outside and skate
Fast as possible on those
uneven sidewalks
concrete slabs
bent,
heaving, uphill, downhill
uneven, shifting, rivers
of cracks.

I would fall into the rivers.
The wheels would get caught in their current.

And I would tumble,
knees falling onto the rocky pitted surface
of their banks.

Scarred kneecaps were my badge of freedom.

Scabs so thick they mirrored those river cracks
like Narcissus imagining himself.

I’d pick them off.

But I knew deeply, even then

No scab could cover up the scars already formed inside.

And these scabs — formed, picked, bled, re-formed,
re-picked, bled, hardened, thickened —

Reminded me that freedom came from falling

And healing came from bleeding

And being scarless was the ultimate impossibility.

Huge shout out to Nanci Arvizu who is hosting my poetry audio readings on her podcast, where you can hear me read the above poem live. This is an exclusive free service to members of Garden of Neuro. Wait for a few seconds for the audio to start up.

Thank you to Nanci Arvizu for hosting my reading

Susan B. is a serial entrepreneur, writer, editor, poet and ship captain. Come find her in the Garden.

Contemplate

A Home for the Homeless Voice

Susan Brearley

Written by

EIC-MuddyUm-Contemplate-Garden of Neuro.20X Medium top writer. Writing comedy since Age 3. Founder, Garden of Neuro. Edited once by Ev Wiliams. He found a typo.

Contemplate

A Home for the Homeless Voice

Susan Brearley

Written by

EIC-MuddyUm-Contemplate-Garden of Neuro.20X Medium top writer. Writing comedy since Age 3. Founder, Garden of Neuro. Edited once by Ev Wiliams. He found a typo.

Contemplate

A Home for the Homeless Voice

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