ADVENTUROUS GRIEF
Planning A Trip To Deal With Grief After Losing My Spouse
Losing a spouse is one of the most painful things I’ve ever experienced, but I’m taking on an adventure to honor her memory and heal
Five years. It’s a long time, they say. But for a man in his late sixties who’s lost the love of his life, it can feel like yesterday most days. Others like an eternity. The absence of your wife, your partner, the other half of your story — that ache doesn’t fade quickly, especially when cancer stole her away when you still cry yourself to sleep. When you realize that her clothes no longer have her scent, that she’s truly gone.
You’re planning retirement, a time that should be filled with shared adventures. Instead, you face a future tinged with bittersweet freedom. Yet, amidst the grief, a beautiful idea emerges: a trip to Indonesia, a place you dreamt of visiting with your wife. A trip to honor her memory and keep your promise of living life fully!
Here’s how I’m navigating this journey of grief and renewal:
I embrace the waves of grief
Grief isn’t linear. It washes over you in waves, sometimes gentle, sometimes crashing. I don’t bottle it up anymore. I talk openly with my children and friends about my feelings. Sharing my pain allows me to heal and honor my wife’s memory.
I celebrate her life
I look at photos together with my family, I share stories with my grandchildren about their amazing grandmother. I planted a tree in her memory, something she always advocated for. I have donated to causes she cared about. These acts are becoming bridges connecting me to her, wherever she is.
I seek support groups
Talking to others who understand loss can be incredibly helpful. Grief support groups are offering me a safe space to express my emotions and connect with people on a similar path.
I’m planning an adventure
I’m researching places my wife would have loved: a serene beach, a bustling market, or a majestic temple. The excitement of planning the trip makes the pain feel more manageable, even if it doesn’t take it away completely.
I’m embracing new experiences
While in Indonesia, I aim to create new memories with my grandchildren, who may join me. I want to learn a few phrases in Bahasa Indonesia together, try the local cuisine, and immerse ourselves in the culture. These experiences will honor my wife’s adventurous spirit, which she would have loved.
I am kind to myself
There will be moments of loneliness, of raw, unhealed pain. I allow myself to feel them, but I also try to remember that my late wife wouldn’t want me to be consumed by them. I take care of my physical and mental health. I engage in activities I enjoy, spend time with my family and friends, and create space for joy, even if I don’t always feel like it.
This trip to Indonesia isn’t just about a destination; it’s about rediscovering myself as a grandfather, carrying my wife’s memory close while forging a brighter future with my family. It’s a testament to the enduring power of love and the resilience of the human spirit. Grief doesn’t diminish the love we once shared; it transforms it into something beautiful.
As I embark on this journey, I know I’m not alone. There’s comfort in remembering, strength in sharing, and beauty in finding new ways to connect with what matters most.
Thanks for your support
