Member-only story
CHOOSING NOT TO DATE IN MIDDLE AGE
Searching For One True Love Has Lost Its Luster
What if everything we learned about relationships is wrong?
Last week, I celebrated my 53rd birthday. I enjoyed the blue skies and my usual routine—nothing special. We ate homemade leftover chicken fettuccine alfredo and had enough brownies left to celebrate my latest trip around the sun.
I planned for my kids to sing to me, but my oldest became upset over something and stayed quiet. I wished for peace, calm, and love, then blew out the green candle on my brownie. The teen recovered, and we enjoyed our dessert.
The only absence was my nameless soul mate. I had high hopes I’d be married by now, but that still hasn’t happened. As I’ve grown and matured, I’ve had to reevaluate.
After fruitless searches for a mate, I decided not to pursue dating. After I broke up with my kids’ dad, something shifted. He’s a decent guy but wasn’t meant to be my person. He lives a few hours away and spends holidays and summers with the kids.
I learned how to be alone in my nine years of being single, and I like it more than I thought. I’m busy nurturing myself and my two kids to build a new relationship with anyone else.
