ST. PETERS BARKS
Your Better Half Isn’t Human
Dog parks are heaven on Earth
Humans behave better in dog parks because our dogs are watching. Nobody wants to be the asshole human in front of their dog. That’s like being the Ugly American in Paris. Be the American people think is Canadian.
Dog parks occupy a separate universe from honking at traffic, crashing into each other while texting, trolling movie stars, writing scathing Yelp reviews, mailing back Amazon packages at Whole Foods, waving down Door Dash drivers who can’t find addresses, comparing our lives to somebody else’s Facebook posts, ranting about politics, loathing our families, whining to our therapists, self-flagellating at CrossFit gyms, banning literature, storming capitols, obsessing about gender, ravaging human rights, bombing our enemies, stockpiling weapons, stalking our children.
I’d say people are more humane in dog parks, but it’s the opposite. Humans are more canine in dog parks. Dogs melt our frigid hearts. If only we talked about our families with as much clarity and love as we describe our dogs.
This is Otto. He’s shy but kind. He doesn’t like it when you jump on his face, but he loves it when you chase him around. He’s not neutered yet.
My Penelope, she’ll stay close to my feet but she’s not…
