The Desperate Urge for Love, The Impulse to Die, and Avoiding Your Deeper Purpose

Despite our psychological and emotional complexity, on a physical level we are still life forms simply motivated by the desire to stay alive. So it seems confusing that so many people often have the desire to kill themselves, and many actually do. Our interconnectedness on the web has raised awareness of suicide, as well as the degree to which loneliness and desperation grip the lives of many people.

Suicide, as well as recurring thoughts of wanting to be dead, are often connected to loneliness. I read a story recently about a young woman who killed herself when a friend turned out to not be interested in being her lover. I thought about what a waste this was, and it was one of the recent factors prompting me to share the following perspective on the desperate urge for love, and the impulse to die.

On a biological level, we are basically programmed to mate before we die…to pass along our DNA. Although our species has evolved in so many awe-inspiring ways, there is still an innate impulse to breed before death. It doesn’t matter if we are consciously not interested in having offspring, and it doesn’t matter if we are physically incapable of having children. The programming still exists.

On a spiritual level, I believe we are here to fulfill our deeper purpose. Each of us has an authentic life that is trying to emerge, and we are on a “mission” to become our true self. Our paths vary greatly, and each one of us is on a unique creative journey. Sometimes we are in alignment with our truth, and at other times we are resisting who we’re guided to become.

In times of resistance or avoidance, we may feel a pervasive sense of discomfort throughout our body. We may feel isolated, confused, angry or depressed. In these periods of being out of touch with our true path, our ego may try to trick us into believing that our purpose is simply biological. In these moments it is easy to say that we NEED a romantic relationship, so that we can acquire “success” through breeding. In reality, having a child may or may not be a part of our purpose, but in times of feeling desperate, the urge for a lover towards the unconscious goal of giving birth can be very powerful.

There is a struggle between our advanced and basic purposes. The attempt to live a spiritual life within the physical world will always have its challenges, and the desire toNEED a romantic relationship can be one method of giving up on doing what we’re here to do. Impulsive desire can stem from losing faith in one’s self, and trying to regress to a basic organism whose only purpose is to replicate itself before death. In this confused state of mind, we might think that without a lover there is no alternative left but death, for our ego has convinced us that we are nothing but a genetic failure.

It’s all very melodramatic, but there is a simpler way to live. We can tune in to the guidance we have received and ask ourselves, “What am I resisting?” Often, we are too stuck in our patterns, too “uncomfortably cozy” within our comfort zone. We may also simply be lazy, not wanting to perform useful yet dull or redundant tasks. We may not want to use our minds to express ourselves, or solve problems. We may feel unhappy in the work we do to support ourselves, but instead of trying to create another path, we resort to becoming a victim.

There are many ways that we can align ourselves with our purpose, but they will most likely take effort…and ineffective habits will need to be broken. We must unplug ourselves from unempowering people, as well as media that supports the archaic “breed and die” imperative. When we reach a decision point between self-empowerment and laziness we must make a conscious choice to move forward.

Life is an opportunity for ongoing self-creation. When we are being who we are, it feels peaceful and satiating. It is time to reject the notion that being loved or choosing death are the only ways we can escape our dissatisfaction. It is deeply rewarding to know that whether we are alone or loved by another, we can enjoy our life by committing every day to our higher purpose.

Peace,
Chris

Check out Chris’s (pen name, Mystic Life’s) book Spiritual Polyamory

Intuitive Guidance — Ethical Sites at LiveReaders.com