I’m Not Enough and That’s Ok
Overcoming imposter syndrome, fear of failure, and feelings of inadequacy.
I set a goal for 2021 to “build my personal brand.” In my head, this meant I was going to figure out my content strategy/design/writing niche, and become the foremost expert in that niche. I would propose talks and be a featured speaker at all the conferences, and I’d write lots of articles on content strategy, to glowing reviews. I was going to become a revered and important resource in the content community!
Feelings of Inadequacy & Fear of Failure
Something held me back. Every time I went to LinkedIn and saw my peers posting their fabulous articles, retweeting the articles of others, and getting great comments and feedback, I felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. If I want to be known for my content strategy prowess, well, I should post more, write more, and promote myself more. I need to propose more conference talks. I need to do more!
I was frozen in inadequacy, followed by fear of failure. I haven’t written a book. Do I even have anything interesting to say? Are the things I publish any good? I didn’t write well enough or cite enough resources. I have too many spelling and grammar errors. Who do I think I am publishing things about “content strategy?” Layered with my ADHD, rejection dysphoria, and perfectionism, I convinced myself that I am obviously an imposter, and the more I post, the sooner the world would find out.
Enter Brené Brown. After reading You Are Your Best Thing, The Gifts of Imperfection, Dare to Lead, and Daring Greatly, I was reminded that putting myself out there, at risk for ridicule, is brave. The only way to bring shame to light is to name it, forgive myself for my imperfections, and embrace my humanity. I can’t do it all. And, if I put myself bravely out there and mess up, well, I am proud of myself for being brave.
Making Space for What I Value
As I struggled with my own imposter syndrome and fear of not doing or being enough, I was also overwhelmed with my paid job, taking care of 2 small kids alone in a pandemic as a single mom, working my side gig/second job, and fielding a myriad of other life challenges. But I wasn’t doing enough to build my content strategy brand! Get it together, Hannah!
In a serendipitous meeting with a fellow content strategist, I confessed, with an exhausted sigh, that I had to say no to a few conference proposals. He reminded me that there will always be more opportunities. I have finite energy and time, and I do myself a disservice by trying to do too much at once.
In the book, Essentialism, Greg McKeown cites example after example of highly successful people who narrowed their focus and were able to accomplish great things. But, to say yes to those few things meant saying no to infinite other things.
If I want to build a brand of my own, I must narrow my focus. My conference proposals and content strategy articles won’t be helpful if I’m spread too thin to contribute something worthwhile.
Shifting My Mindset
So I tried something new. I opened LinkedIn. Instead of thinking, “Oh great. So-and-so posted another fantastic article. I’m not doing enough. This sucks. I suck!” I tried thinking “Wow. I am so happy for this person and glad they wrote this article.” And I reminded myself that I will write something of value when the time is right. No need to berate myself for falling short, robbing me of experiencing the joy of my colleague’s accomplishment. This new approach was life-changing.
Suddenly, I could appreciate others’ work and enjoy consuming and sharing great resources. If I liked an article, I shared it. And, that felt true to who I am. When I was true to myself, within my own interests and boundaries, I not only stopped feeling inadequate, I knew I was contributing in a way that worked for me, saying no to the things that don’t add value to my life.
Now, when I get an email calling for conference proposals, I take a deep breath and remind myself that saying no to this conference doesn’t mean I can’t say yes another time. Saying no means that I’m making space for something else that is in line with my life goals and priorities and, it’s ok.
I still deal with imposter syndrome. Like, when my company hired a more junior employee and I thought, “They are younger and more talented than me! I’m becoming irrelevant.” Reality check. I have almost 20 years of experience. I bet he’s looking at me and thinking the same thing. We both bring value to the table. And, if I mess up, well, there will be more chances. I return to my Brené Brown philosophy: we are all doing the best we can. We are all human. Mistakes can be painful. But, we learn and grow and move on. Don’t fear them!
Understanding I am human, forgiving myself for what I can’t do, and accepting that I am making space for what I value has helped me feel more peace and help others. And, that is something I deeply value. I hope in the new year, you can do the same.