I have an aversion to calm waters.
Do you ever feel like if things are going smoothly that you are merely “coasting” in life? Or have you ever thought, “Things are good right now so that must mean I’m just comfortable, lazy, or just unambitious?”
Or maybe the other side of this thinking goes like this: unless there is tension, a struggle, or a challenge that is apparent I must not be making the most of my life. I’ve even gone so far to believe that God is more present when life is hard, therefore in times of peace I must be comfortable and inattentive to the Divine.
Have you ever felt more “at home” with yourself when some kind of stressor is in play in your life? As if tension is some kind of mark of making your most of life? It’s not that I want drama — it’s that any kind of struggle is a type of trigger that signals growth for me. I’ve found that I am coming from a place where I have this deeply embedded idea that if life is easy, smooth, or calm — I must be comfortable, stagnant, and even disobedient to my underlying meaning and purpose.
Well, I’ve recently become aware of how exhausting and faulty this line of thinking is. You can probably imagine what that means for me in moments of chill — (There is no chill! Doesn’t that sound fun?).
REMAIN is a word that has stuck with me lately. To me, remain resonates this idea that wherever you are — is where you are. Remaining is about being present; and it is also about being true. To remain is not to be stagnant, just as it is not being what you think you *should* be.
I think the challenge before us — those of us who at times think we are more “at home” or at peace or God is more near in a certain pace or state of life is to begin to be open to our circumstances — no matter what they may be st the moment — doesn’t have to dictate how near we feel to our sense of true self. I’m using true self as the awake and aware, present focused, authentic me. This exists for us beyond anything that may be going on in our circumstances.
Paul writes a letter to the ancient church in Corinth saying, “And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there . . . My brothers and sisters, each of you should remain in whatever external circumstances you were in when God called you.”
This seems to be more about being present and recognizing the importance of this moment rather than wishing the circumstances away for something we’ve deemed more “holy”. It’s all holy. It’s all valuable. It’s all meaningful.
TRUEING
A strong community helps people develop a sense of true self, for only in community can the self exercise and fulfill its nature: giving and taking, listening and speaking, being and doing. But when community unravels and we lose touch with one another, the self atrophies and we lose touch with ourselves as well. Lacking opportunities to be ourselves in a web of relationships, our sense of self disappears, leading to behaviors that further fragment our relationships and spread the epidemic of inner emptiness.
When we are rooted in true self, we can act in ways that are life-giving for us and all whose lives we touch. Whatever we do to care for true self is, in the long run, a gift to the world.
- Parker Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness
As a community, this past weekend, we considered together these ideas of REMAINING and TRUEING. We ventured into a prayer practice inspired by a post from Brené Brown:
IMAGINATIVE MEDITATION
Imagine one of the people you have written about is standing by you. See them move in front of you, with eyes that are both piercing and loving. Feel them put their hands on your shoulders and lean closer to you. Hear them quietly speak these words to you,
“I’m not screwing around. All of this pretending and performing — these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt — has to go. Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy and lovable, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever. Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through your veins. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.”
- Note what you feel upon hearing these words?
- What is your first reaction?
- How might you carry this prodding with you into the week?
