How I Learned to Be Alone

Have you noticed that personal relationships are the major topic of every school or college reunion. For some reason, we care about the relationship status of our friends. No so long ago, being married meant that a person was successful. It was a way of telling the world that you are capable of finding a partner and building a family together.

Even though this conception has changed, I still have a feeling that the society expects me to prove them my social skills by getting together with someone. There are not so many movies I can recall where the idea of being single correlates with the ability to be happy and strong.

The modern world tries to break the strange standards of beauty and gender inequality. We try to fight the concepts that can harm others by judging them by race, age, sex or the way they look. But I don’t see any specific steps towards letting the world know that being alone is OK. There are numerous dating apps that are supposed to make the process of meeting with your ideal match easier.

The society gives us hope of finding a partner even if we don’t want to leave our room. Therefore, if you still have not succeeded in finding the love of your life when there are so many ways to do it, it means you are not good enough. There is this pressure that makes me and some of my friends feel really frustrated.

I had a huge desire to find my soulmate. I’ve been in two serious relationships so far and both times something was wrong. I’ve read once that one of the common reasons why people break up is because they are trying to heal their psychological traumas using each other.

In my case, I was trying to fill the void. I had no idea what to do with my life. Finding a partner should have been a good proof of me being not totally worthless. If someone cared about me, I would not be so miserable.

I understand that now. I’ve been reading a lot of books on the psychology of relationships and discovered very helpful points for myself. I know now that to be happy in a relationship you need to learn to be happy on your own.

Being alone is often the best medicine. Once you can get a sense of your psychological traumas and where they come from, you look at yourself from a different perspective.

We don’t need others to appreciate life and the world around us. I finally can be alone without a necessity of proving something to someone. This is my recipe for happiness, maybe it will help you as well:

• defining the reason why you want to meet someone and analyze it;
• learning how to be happy without depending on someone else’s feelings and actions;
• discovering the multiple benefits of solitude;
• making your own decisions that may not be in line with the standards of the modern society.

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