Letter to the future
We’ve never been so boot-shakingly scared of the future. Because, frankly, we modern humans have never been socked in the face by evil, disaster and tragedy like we have in the two thousand and twentieth year of this Common Era.
Part of the vortex of awfulness this year stems from powerlessness: we can’t wish away the virus, inhumane systems are heavily resistant to change and we can’t practice de-escalation with natural disasters. Not to mention the ongoing, systemic racism against the Black community, discrimination faced by people of color, women, the LGBTQ+ community and the disabled.
Yet…For the first time, this Tuesday, we’ve got the actual chance to change the world for the better.
In this helpless-feeling year, we can empower ourselves by doing one simple thing: VOTING.
Now, this year, we’re heartened by the massive turnout for early and mail-in voting. But there are still a gross amount of us who are too lazy, distracted, apathetic or cynical to vote…and a gross amount of laws suppressing would-be voters.
And this is the thing: you can take a personal step, right now, towards solving both of those problems…by VOTING.
So, sorry if we seem to be beating a dead horse here, but in the spirit of apathy-busting, we’ve crafted two letters to Future Humans to express our hopes…from two perspectives.
One letter is what we would put in a time capsule for all of you unique, compassionate ballot-casting voters who smell good and look great. The other letter is what we’d put in a time capsule for those unseemly, body-odor-ridden, selfish cynics who chose not to cast a ballot for the following reasons: (enter your excuse here, coward).
So pick which side of history you want to be a part of, and read on, good people.
Dear Bad-Breath Ridden NON-VOTERS,
You know, we were really tee’d up for change. But you went and didn’t vote. Now we’ve got four more years of having a human trash fire as president. You know what else we’ve got, as a country?
-No intention of rejoining the Paris Climate Agreement or really doing any damn thing about climate change.
- A six-to-three conservative/liberal imbalance on the Supreme Court. Not to mention a justice on a religious mission to overturn Roe v. Wade.
- Kids getting ripped from their families at the border, lost, and traumatized. Yeah.
-A White House that is legitimately empowering white supremacy.
-An ongoing erasure of LGBTQ+ rights with a schoolyard bully’s emphasis on trans people.
-An obscene denial of institutional racism’s oppression of the Black community.
-A philandering, disrespectful, misogynist pussy-grabbing fuckboy-in-chief.
-COVID.
-A horrifying slide into the whack-ass authoritarian farce of the nation we could have been had we listened to our better angels.
Remember, by not voting, you voted for all of the above.
Jerk,
CONVICTS
Dear Well-Adjusted and Beautiful VOTERS,
First of all, thank you for voting. Just knocking that civic duty out of the park. Look at you.
You look great by the way. And you know?
We’re well on our way to a future full of awesome things like:
-Renewable energy everything. Like solar powered cars, wind-powered drones and hydro-powered sex toys. We think.
-A world where Mother Nature isn’t trying to burn us off like the fever-germs we’ve become.
-Good, hard progress towards a world without discrimination.
-A whole lot more mindfulness and decency. Just, a whole lot more.
-A dope moon base to go vacation on. (This is a wishlist.)
-Less exposure to this goddamn awful COVID-19 virus because of actual planning and competency at the federal governmental level.
-Better mental health for everyone because we’re not living under a mad king.
We’re proud of you. We’re proud of all of us. The last four years have been a waking nightmare. But you know? It probably hurts when a snake shed its skin. Now, we’re emerging into a shinier, better version of who we are. We’ve got work to do…but we got this.
Love,
CONVICTS
