Afraid of losing your identity?
How I learned to embrace change and explore who I am.
If you would have told me a few years ago I would be writing an article today about the importance of being more open-minded, spontaneous, and go-with-the-flow, I probably would have laughed in your face. Coming from one of the most stubborn, strong-willed people, I have certainly come a long way over the last year and a half. And I am so glad I did. This is my story.
Thirteen of the first eighteen years of my life were consumed with the sport of swimming. If you know competitive swimming, you know the massive time commitment and dedication it requires. It was my passion, my lifestyle, and a huge part of my identity. From a young age, there was no question that I wanted to continue the sport into my collegiate years, and after that, I really had no idea. When a sport takes up 25+ hours of your week, you don’t really know life without it.
I remember the day I received a phone call from the head coach at Auburn University telling me I could walk on to the team that upcoming fall of my freshman year. This is probably still one of the most defining moments of my life — Auburn was my dream school and I wanted nothing more than to be able to do what I loved there.
Without getting into all of the details, my experience was far from what I imagined, and I decided to step away from the sport two months after starting at Auburn. This was easily the hardest choice of my life, and, at the time, I had certainly hit a low. I was at a school 686 miles from home, my only friends were those on the swim team (which I had just left), and I now had hours worth of extra time on my hands that I didn’t know how to spend. For the first time, I had to face the truth that I was more than just a swimmer, and I had to discover who I truly was and how I could replace that piece of my life, and my heart, that was now missing.
As I look back a year and a half later, I wish I could have told myself that all would be okay. That I didn’t need swimming to have goals and to be motivated, that my success in the pool wasn’t the only thing that could make me feel a sense of accomplishment, and that there was more to life than the sport I played.
So what exactly have I learned in this new chapter of my life with all of this time I once didn’t have?
Be open-minded and try new things.
I would never have thought I would end up falling in love with kickboxing had I not randomly tried a free class one Saturday morning with my roommate. Nor would I have realized how much I enjoy cooking and healthy eating had I not made that first Google search and started experimenting. I also wouldn’t have met one of the most supportive, caring and loving best friends had I not chosen to join a sorority at Auburn, something I said I would never do.
Say “yes” to everything (or at least try to).
If there’s one piece of advice to take with you when you’re entering a new phase of life, it’s to say “yes” as much as possible. I realized that if I didn’t put myself out there, things wouldn’t get better. I made it my goal to say yes to any invitations — going out to eat, studying, random adventures — even if I wasn’t really in the mood or didn’t have a lot of time for it. The result? I made some of my favorite memories and met so many incredible people!
Make spontaneous decisions.
With the intense schedule that swimming demanded, spontaneity was not in my vocabulary. Now that I had much more freedom to do whatever I pleased, I started making more spur-of-the-moment decisions. The best example I can give is deciding to buy a football ticket at 10pm the night before a noon scheduled game that very next day and having to wake up at 3am to drive there in time (now you don’t have to be THAT spontaneous, although it was really fun!). Sometimes the best adventures are the ones planned last minute and without much thought.
You can be whoever you want to be.
I always thought of myself as “the athlete.” But now, I realize that I am not just one thing. I am the achiever, the motivator, the adventurer, the socializer, the kickboxer/weightlifter/runner, the (slight) nerd. I would still love to become the traveler, the musician, the business analyst and marketer, and one day the wife and the mother. You have the chance to be whoever you choose, so find what you love and make it part of who you are.
There is SO much worth living for.
There are an infinite number of things to do, people to meet, and places to go. Don’t get so caught up on one thing if it doesn’t make you happy. I realized that it was time for me to move on from swimming and figure out other things I enjoy. Know that there is an entire world of opportunities around you, so take advantage of it and use it to create valuable moments.
As I reflect on my journey over the last year and a half, I feel grateful above all. While leaving behind one of my greatest passions was challenging, it opened up a new door with endless possibilities. I feel like for the first time, I have been able to truly experience life. I have grown in so many ways, and I am proud of the person I have become. Sometimes life guides you in a completely different direction than you expect, and that’s okay. Embrace the change and create a lifestyle that you enjoy and take pride in. I may still be learning and trying to figure out who I am and what I love, but that’s the beauty of life — there is so much to discover, and a whole lifetime to do it!
