Jun 3, 2017
Week 64: Giving Away the Spotlight
For this week, we let someone else do the cooking…
Each Sunday, my wife and I cook and eat a meal together — intentionally. Every Friday, I’ll be sharing our experience here in this space. I want to see the growth that will come in our marriage because of this. I hope you enjoy our story. You can find last week’s post here.
If you’ve read our earlier blog posts, you may know that I am somewhat of a movie buff. This week I watched a black-and-white Japanese film called Red Beard. It came out in the year 1965 and was made by famed director, Akira Kurosawa. If you’ve never seen it, I highly recommend it. It follows a young doctor who is placed at a clinic that he, initially, does not care for. He views medicine as a stepping stone, a way to move up the social ladder. His dream is to be the shogun’s personal doctor, not a lowly caretaker of the sick and decrepid.
But as he works with the head doctor of the clinic, Dr. Niide (known as Red Beard), he realizes that the practice of medicine is not about being in a position of leadership at all. It’s about caring for the sick. The main difference really is that of perspective.
Is he going to be focused on himself or others?
It’s easy to focus on ourselves. Every day is a new temptation to wallow in self-importance. Our jobs, our passions, what we eat, what we do, our downtime — if we’re not careful, it all begins to revolve around us.
That can feel nice for a while. But soon you find the emptiness. We weren’t made to live in isolation. We weren’t made to solely focus on ourselves.
Not that Sarah and I were necessarily focusing on ourselves (although marriage has certainly taught me that there is always more room to care for my wife above myself), but we decided to step back a bit this week. We let someone else cook for us, and it felt great.
I absolutely LOVE going to my in-laws’ house. I know, I know — the cliche is exactly the opposite. I guess most people just don’t have in-laws like mine. Sarah’s parents (Dale Susan Schoettle) are amazing!
Every time we go to their house, it’s so relaxing. Life slows down for a bit, a welcome respite in the midst of our increasingly busy lives. This particular week was no different. Sarah and I had both been busy with work and the rest of our lives. I, for one, had been focused in on my own situation. My new responsibilities at work. Increased workload. Deadlines. Deliverables. Strategies. My mind was an endless working of gears. Always moving.
Then we got to that familiar little Michigan town.
Things seem to move slower there. I notice the wind and the sunshine. The couch becomes my desk. But no work is to be done. Just being. Being there with family. Watching a movie. Relaxing. No timetables or deadlines here.
After a while, it became dinnertime. Sarah’s Dad was grilling steaks. My mouth started to water before he even fired up the grill. I stood by the grill with him and watched the master go about his craft. The smoke rose in the air, carried by a soft Michigan breeze in the shimmering sunlight.
We sat down at the dinner table and passed the plates of food around. Steak, corn, baked potatoes and fruit salad. It took me back to older times. The family dinner table with a family around it. Hard to get much better than that!
We ate and talked. We shared laughs and memories. It was very special.
And then we went home. Back to our lives. Back to normal. But the respite was nice. Needed I think. Sometimes we need those short interludes to reset our thinking.
Sarah and I didn’t cook this week. We left that to the professionals. The ones who taught us what we know. I can tell you this for sure — the food tasted just as good. And the conversation tasted even better.
Whether you’re cooking or sitting at your desk, I encourage you to take some time for others. That may mean finding ways to serve others, or (as in our case) that might mean taking a step back so they can have some time in the spotlight. In any case, you’ll find value in stepping outside your own little bubble.
Monday, we were both back at work. It was back to the routine, back to normal. But, somehow, I felt changed. I think it came from taking the time to give time to someone else. It felt good. I realize it’s something I need to do more often. I also realized something else…
…I’m very thankful to have in-laws that are such good cooks.
