Becoming An Efficient and Successful Technologist

Computers are fast and we make computers so why aren’t we fast like computers the fast computers we make?

Computers are fast. And we make computers. So why are we not fast like the fast computers we make? It’s an interesting problem that Silicon Valley has been trying to solve for a long time, and one of the solutions we’ve come to see from its leaders is the idea of human efficiency through the eschewing of decision-making.

I was reading tweets on Twitter about blogs on LinkedIn™ and ended up logging into LinkedIn™ to read this blog post about how leaders in Silicon Valley wear the same outfits every day and how we should too, for human efficiency.

I think the greatest takeaway from this post is that it is very easy to successfully remove decision-making from your life and be more efficient like successful people, whether it’s beloved Nickelodeon cartoon character Doug Funny, or wildly successful blood maven Elizabeth Holmes — two famous/successful people who are known for their efficiency, mostly in part by wearing the same clothes every day.

The gist of it is: you decide one outfit, one schedule for when you do things like exercise and grocery shop, and one set of meals to eat every day. And you stick to that schedule no matter what. This gives you more time to focus on being successful and productive in tech, despite unintentional roadblocks:

The Paradox of Dress Code

Choosing your daily uniform is easier said than done. If you go too casual and are invited to a wedding, you may be the laughing stock of the other attendees. Even worse, what if you are the one getting married? You can also go the other route and be formal all of the time. Naturally, you’ll run into problems if you were to need to do sports or exercise (which according to the previously mentioned LinkedIn™ blog, you’ll need to do at the same time every day). In my experience, exercising takes precious time from being successful anyway so you can honestly do without that.

Guess what — Doug Funny wasn’t married.

Just saying.

The Paradox of Nutrition

Choosing a set of meals to eat every day is also a daunting task. What do you like to eat that you’d like to eat every day? And will that meal have the right nutrition for you? Does nutrition even matter? We are technologists, not scientists, so we should be focusing on technology and not science.

Guess what —Elizabeth Holmes is, by law, not allowed to do science.

Moving on…

The Paradox of People

One of the hardest parts of being an efficient and successful person, of course, is other people. It’s hard to stick to a schedule when other people, like coworkers and children, do not stick to your schedule as well. This doesn’t necessarily have to be a problem, though.

Guess what — Doug Funny didn’t have children and Elizabeth Holmes sort of doesn’t have a job.

So in my research via reading that one LinkedIn™ blog, I have discovered that the key to being successful and efficient turns out not to be that you need to remove *decision-making* from your life — but actually you need to remove exercise, nutrition, and people. And, honestly, if it works for beloved Nickelodeon cartoon character Doug Funny, or wildly successful blood maven Elizabeth Holmes, it works for you and I.


Jenn Schiffer is the author of the successful and efficient nonexistent LinkedIn™ blog, “How To Be Successful Without People, Food, or Clothing.” which will probably be adapted for an animated film not by the creators of the successful and efficient cartoon “Doug” but she highly doubts it.

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