Work, Work, and Work Some More for Little Benefit to Yourself
The perspective of Jenn Schiffer who’s had a career from start-ups to almost owning a Taco Bell franchise— even before turning 30
Most of us wish there was a formula to achieve success. While this isn’t the case, Jenn Schiffer, open source engineer and enthusiast, shared her personal formula. Given that she has already achieved success at a consulting company and has been yelled at on the Internet by at least 100 guys — all before turning 30 — Jenn has definitely earned something, I guess.
The Beginnings
Jenn started out as a Computer Science major at a state university. From the beginning, she was told she did not belong, up until she earned her Masters and a full-time job. She was unable to prove to her colleagues that she got the job on merit — instead of the fact that she had what some doctors call a “vagina” — so she moved on to other ventures. Despite the fact that she is not rich or an expert in any specific field and has not yet rage-quit the industry, the fact that she is a living breathing woman with a job means that she somehow managed to “make it” in tech.
How She “Made It” in Tech
Jenn’s tips for achieving success:
- Work hard, but not too hard.
- No matter how hard you work, you’ll be told your success and popularity are due to your looks and you’ll probably be accused of sleeping your way to the top.
2. Literally sleep your way to the top.
- Naps are a great way to be by yourself and escape the reality that nothing you do matters to most of the people who are in power or just really loud on the Internet.
3. Be white
- Bonus: Also try not to be a woman.
4. Don’t be a bitch. But also don’t be weak. But try to come off as a little bit weak so you don’t come off as totally bitchy. But also don’t be weak because you need a thick skin. Thick, porcelain, white, soft skin. Soft to the touch by the hands of a man.
5. Be visible. Men should be able to see you, look at you, imagine you, have thoughts about…
6. Do not try to help only other women because that is discrimination. This industry does not take kindly to discrimination except when it does which is most of the time. But you will be napping throughout then.
7. Find a way to relax, regardless of all the pressures and expectations that have been forced upon you because of lists like this.
To achieve success, set clear goals and work relentlessly to achieve them. And then be told you failed. Pivot. Push all the haters into a volcano. Start a new society of people who value people regardless of biology or psychology. Build cool things. Go to Taco Bell. Bring Jenn with you.
Jenn Schiffer almost bought a Taco Bell in early 2014 because sometimes it’s good to have a backup plan in case you leave the industry.
