Blue Monday

Voices

Every created thing, even the simplest, is already guilty, already multiple.

Hermann Hesse — Steppenwolf

On the different voices we have up there. The ones leading us, the ones tempting us, the ones with a revolt programmed, the ones who abandoned the ship.

Alas, staying light this week:

I don’t want to open up a subject I have too much to share on. Its developments and its meanings would rather be unfolded with more time at bay.

Here’s a soothing thought for today:

Follow your instinct.

It isn’t easy.

Over and over, I’ve repeated it.
I’ve confided it to friends. I’ve confided to me.
At times, it felt simple, and true.
Others, it felt contriving and unnatural.
Instinct is one of the many voices up there.
In conflict with the ego but real guide?
The instinctive voice comes from within. It either takes us by the hand and helps us through hard situations, or it is nagging, delivering the message we didn’t want to hear yet.
The instinct is a pure voice of ours. Sometimes it feels like an access to universal wisdom. A piece of peace coming down to enlighten us. The one that knows us best, and offers a way amidst the clearing when we faced the jungle and its perils.

Instinct is the one that trusts the version future selected for you. There’s no need for further second-guessing or shifting perspectives, we know it’s the one that will complete us. Alas, it might entail hurting a few others. Alas, it goes against the real world down there.

The instinct only cares for you. It’s egoistic, and wise.
It doesn’t mind the society’s constructed narratives built upon the years, or it doesn’t mind hurting others.
The instinct is at war with both our egos, and our mental beings influenced by the labelling the crowd would give us.
The instinct cares for you, and not others.
The instinct cares for a version of you at the core, not the recently developed mental being.
The instinct is you at 7 and at 77.
In trying to be rationalised beings, by rationalising instincts and imagining aftermaths, we rely on the fact that it will hurt others for a few minutes only, while it might hurt us for years.

I don’t know what the ultimate solution to all this is, but, if I followed my instinct, I’d say to myself: second-guessing lead you nowhere the world’s satisfaction was a 100%.
The world will never be satisfied. There’s just too many data on this matrix, we can’t encompass them all and create the golden rule for any simple action in our lives. Stop pleasing others, start loving yourself.
Follow the path that makes you 2000% joyful. Even for a minute. Even if it fails, there’s no regrets implied when you have followed your instinct, your wise voice.

(this week’s Copious Copy is illustrated by Fairy Tales from Lisbeth Werger)

Today is supposedly the most depressing day of the year, Blue Monday. I’ve felt it. I pushed myself out of the house, covered my time in treat-yourself tasks, developing rolls of film, skimming through and commuting on ferry boats. There was nothing to save me from the weight on my eyelids. With the array of self-care tools I discovered through the years, nothing helped. And then, music. Music saved today. (See below)

Originally published as part of Copious Copy — A series of letters between the Earth and you: a weekly cosmos of words about metaphysics and enlightenment, through science and spirituality, consider joining the conversation.